Dark Shadow's blog

 I still want to gather everyones experiences with bullying whether that was as a bully yourself (And you learned a lesson), a bystander, or a survivor. Below is an example from a short book so that you know what to write. I would like to take your writing and put it into a giant book to get published. It can be anonymous or say who the author was, its up to you. Please do this and once you have, message me and post it so I can gather it all. Thank you so muh ♥ No More Silence

              “I just had to write to you in regard to your item ‘Target’s that appeared in today’s (March 8) Inquirer,” wrote Ray Windsor of Lansdowne. I received several letters about that piece which concerned girl I knew in high school who was the victim of cruel and unrelenting ridicule because she was unattractive, uncool and unable to defend herself. That piece touched a chord in people, and I think Ray’s story will, too. Here it is.

“Back in high school I had to contend with many of the malicious deeds and taunts from my ‘fellow students,’ similar but different. With me, however, I was a victim of gross physical immaturity…I actually didn’t start shaving regularly until I was 25 or so. Read more »

I can't hear what you're saying for the nature around me is screaming just to be heard. Nature is fighting against the man made objects surrounding society, to remind us how its still here; full of life. To escape outside away from technology and listen to what it has to say to you. Look into the distance of the woods, see how the trees go on and on, almost forever, into the depths of the woods? Notice how you're standing right in front of what could be an amazing adventure. Notice how as you walk the sound of the leaves and twigs crunching beneath your feet or if you're barefoot, the feeling of the dirt and mud between you toes. Remember how i said to notice how you're in front of the woods, well start walking. The light of the sun is shining on the outside just giving you a hint of what its about. Then see how its gets darker towards the middle, hard to tell what is in there but once you reach the end you see the light again. The woods is like a person being the inside of you, not everyone knows what is going on in there waiting to explore the depths of the woods to get to know you. The sun shining again on you is the moment when the person knows all about you and wants to explore again, and hang out some more. For in the woods there is something new to explore every time and the person you are can be discovered every day, something new to learn about. Even if you don't know yourself.

I dont want to talk
I dont want to eat
For the guilt tearing up
Inside of me
I dont want to move
I dont deserve to sleep
After what i put my mother through
To make her weep
I cant fix this now
Because i dont see how
She will ever forgive me again
Sometimes i wish that i wasnt born
And my life was at the end

My soul is lost in the wrong shell

don't know who to trust or who to tell

afraid of judgement, afraid of hate

why did God have to make a mistake

People don't approve of these ways

its not my fault i am like this every day

Its not a phase, I can tell you that for sure

because ive been feeling like this since I was born

I try to stick out of my shell and be who i am

my body is whats wrong and what I can't stand

Its not the problems of muscle or weight

just the anatomy in the wrong place

I find ways to fix this and relieve the pain

but my parents don't agree and will make it stay

Im their girl, their daughter in the world

but feel like a boy, a son, in the wrong shell  

White can only become darker,

Black can only become lighter,

Everyone has a piece of dark within them

And everyone has some light

Whether its all of them or just a part of them

It matters what they are going to do with that piece of dark from within  

Use that shadow in their light for doing something bad but good at the same time

Becoming totally dark and fighting for the light that is inside, deep in their soul, and in their mindset

Society says that you are either right or wrong, black or white, nothing in the between

But the truth of the matter is there are people who are in the in between that society calls the outcasts

The outcasts that are finding their way throughout life to know if they are more dark or light

They belong to both because they belong to neither

The darkness of the world can be a scary place to be but everyone has that part of them even if they can’t see

They do have some light within them that will help the world look bright

The world isn’t perfect, so you can’t be all white

Nobody is perfect so you will have some dark and light

Because white can become darker

And black can only become lighter

I walked down the endless hallway to my new destination. What would be next on my agenda? A lot of things have been going on and I never know what I have in store for my days. Coming out wasn’t the easiest thing in my life and it won’t be as I become more comfortable with new people, which may sound odd. Some people think it’s a big deal but others don’t, I believe in the in between. It can be hard in some situations more than others. But now it feels like I have entered a new universe, I don’t know anyone here, and I barely know the area. I moved here not too long ago, to start a new life, kind of restarting and hopefully it’s for the better. It has been really hard though leaving people I love behind, even the one special to me. This girl knows about it and it was really hard leaving. Before I left the days counting down grew harder and harder. She thinks that its hard for her, well its even harder for me. Read more »

I pray to God each and every day

that the bullies will soon go away.

Pushing and shoving me through the halls

Others staring at me, watching me as I fall.

No one is confident enough to make a sound

Scared of the bullies because they are all around.

Holding me under water so that I can't breathe

Showing me just how powerful they can be.

Taking away the personality that was me

and turning it into something that I dont want to see.

What I wonder is why me,

they dont know me or my story.

It hurts so much to be a target of the bully,

practicing their cruel ways on me.

I always wonder was it my fault

for them to come after me with no halt.

Should I change who i am

or should I learn to take a stand?

Time to stand up and make a sound

No more Silence, make noise all around.

The sun is shining bright

and the dark clouds are out of sight.

This is my time to make a mark

to let my fireworks make a spark.

The big finally is what everyone wants to se

Well thats the new person I chose to be, not the bully.

My mom has written a beautiful/amazing poem that I will be using when presenting to schools about bullying. She took the words right out of my mouth. Thank you everyone for the help and support, we will make this group known!!

when I wake up in the morning and the sun is shining bright,

I close my eyes and roll back over,

wishing it was night.

In the darkness I can hide from all the ones who damn me,

no one knows how much it hurts to be the target for a bully.

I hide beneath the covers,

shrinking from my life,

alone in my fear,

and paralyzed by the pain mean people inflict in stride.

But then the curtain is opened and my days begins to glow,

for I realize with support I am the person you want to know.

So no more shrinking or fading into dark...

I am proud of who I am

in this life I will leave my mark.

By standing strong and united ....By stopping the silence..."

Lets work together to tweek this up!!

Seeing the bully walk around the school

probably thinking that she is very cool

Makes me want to run and hide

looking at the classrooms to go inside

Going to school each and everyday

not telling the teachers what I have to say

Teachers look at me wondering why

I try to go find a place to hide

But when I finally tell

the rest of my school days turn to hell

Thinking about going to school

makes me want to pretend that I dont feel good

All the kids look at me

as if they see right through me

Making me feel invisible

but the bully invincible

Looking at the bully made me go away

wondering if everything will be okay

Noticing my personality had gone away

made me do things I regret today

Hearing that school starts soon

makes me want to go cry in my room

Cause I only want to go to Upward Bound

where Im not afraid to make a sound

Hello ladies and gentlemen, adults, adolescents, and children; greetings world! Please listen to what I am about to say because it is very important that you do.

I am not the typical person, Im a second degree black belt and one area that I struggled with was standing up for me. So when I first moved here from south west Florida, with a heavy southern accent, a unique type of family, and a different way of dressing (or as I say, unique) I was bullied a lot. Yes its true, a black belt being bullied can actually happen. I have the integrity of not using my skills to hurt people unless needed be, in other words if they laid a single finger on me I would go at it. I was harassed, threatened with knifes, and they threatened to hurt my family. I was terrified, for the first three months of it happening I didn’t tell anyone. Instead I took out my feelings on my writing, I ended up writing a poem called Bully and posted it to this site. At the time I was a new writer and to my surprise they broad casted it on VPR, that’s when everyone found out what was going on in school and why I was acting strange. I got really depressed and resulted to cutting myself instead of getting the help I needed. My school didn’t do anything to help me until my family threatened to sue them. I am no longer a victim, I am a survivor. Read more »

Spring. WIll it ever come? I'm in long need of grass and flowers picking out from underneath the snow saying, 'I'm here. Look down below. I can see you but you can't see me!' They want to come out and embrace the warmth of the sun as they wake up from their deep slumber. But what I wake up to on the first day of "spring" is more snow. Yes it looks like a pretty winter wonderland but that's winter and its no longer here. Spring need to go up to winter and say, 'You are no longer welcome here, you need to leave please. It's my turn.' Winter is stubborn though, I could tell this from the start. Once the ground hog came out of his home and declared to the world that there would be an early spring after recently having forty degree weather, grass showing, and sun for everyone to see; winter was standing in the dark shadows thinking 'heck with that I'm bringing a snow storm!' The kids loved their day off of school but we all know what we want now...and that's spring.

All I have to say is, this wasnt what i expected at all. In a childs mind being grown up felt like you could do anything you wanted and get away with it. I knew at 8 years that when i was a grown up i wanted to eat ice cream every night, not just weekends, and stay up past nine o'clock at night. At 15 years old i knew i wanted to go to college and become a surgeon of some sort to work in the medical field, and i wanted my permit so i could drive. Now at almost 17 years old i really feel like im starting to grow up. Not thinking of my future for once but of the present and future at the same time. How my actions in the present could affect my future. The struggle right now is thinking about moving back to Florida where i grew up and plan on going to college but then again i dont want to lose my friends. My best friend, who i have a major crush on is helping me realize that this is what its like to grow up. Why on earth did i ever want to rush this thing when i was younger? I hate this feeling. Being torn a part by preparing for college and the person you love but dont have a chance with. I dont want to lose this person ever because ive never had a friend like this before. Moving from Florida to Vermont was easy for me because i didnt have any close friends down there but now i have two amazing best friends, one like a brother, and the other a major crush. I dont like hurting people i love. Honestly if i could take everyones problems and sadness away and give it to myself so that they would be happy, i would do it in a heart beat. Read more »

I am for happiness, joy, and smiles

the gathering of family and friends after a while.

To make someone feel positive after a negative day

who just wants to give up as a whole and run away.

To live my dreams that I make

and with every chance I get, I will take.

Stay outside and run around

sing out loud and not be afraid to make a sound.

Watch people who inspire me

and live up to them, so they will be proud of me.

Practice martial arts with my heart

show characteristics that haven't been shown before

live my life to the fullest and nothing less, but so much more.

These are the things that push me through harsh times

that help me get through the dark clouds and shine.

These are what I live and dream for,

What do you?

Er(Sorry if this offends anyone. This is combination of an old poem and homework assignment)
America believes in freedom
But really is that true?
With freedom that requires equality
Sadly though this hasnt been accepted.
People say everyone is equal, really they are not.
Think of people in love.

Love is love
Love to me is a connection between two people
True love is between two souls coming together
Not between what gender you are
What body parts you have
But the connection between two lovely people
Love is indescribable
Love is love
Love can be heart braking
Love can be amazing
So why must we judge people for who they love?
A guy and a guy in love
Or a girl and a girl in love
Verses a guy and girl
Do we have to judge how they made their soul connections
What their heats fell in love with
No, we dont have to judge them
Its their life, their soul, their love
So we shouldnt judge each other
Let people find their true love with whoever it may be.

My question is, will America ever see
That equality should just happened because its meant to be?
Will America ever know people who suffer
Because of what they arent allowed to show?
It doesnt affect you in anyway
Let people love who they want
And live their own way.
As people seem to say, you only live once
Well why not let them live with the one they love.
The one they want to have those memories with.
Discrimination, hate crimes, threats
These are what those people get
For being with the person they love.
Just think about it America,
What happens if you cant be with the Read more »

Er(Sorry if this offends anyone. This is combination of an old poem and homework assignment)
America believes in freedom
But really is that true?
With freedom that requires equality
Sadly though this hasnt been accepted.
People say everyone is equal, really they are not.
Think of people in love.

Love is love
Love to me is a connection between two people
True love is between two souls coming together
Not between what gender you are
What body parts you have
But the connection between two lovely people
Love is indescribable
Love is love
Love can be heart braking
Love can be amazing
So why must we judge people for who they love?
A guy and a guy in love
Or a girl and a girl in love
Verses a guy and girl
Do we have to judge how they made their soul connections
What their heats fell in love with
No, we dont have to judge them
Its their life, their soul, their love
So we shouldnt judge each other
Let people find their true love with whoever it may be.

My question is, will America ever see
That equality should just happened because its meant to be?
Will America ever know people who suffer
Because of what they arent allowed to show?
It doesnt affect you in anyway
Let people love who they want
And live their own way.
As people seem to say, you only live once
Well why not let them live with the one they love.
The one they want to have those memories with.
Discrimination, hate crimes, threats
These are what those people get
For being with the person they love.
Just think about it America,
What happens if you cant be with the Read more »

Far away we shall go
Exploring the universe
And so much more.
Places to go and places to see
The Doctor chose his companion
Which happens to be me.
Fighting off Cyber men
Chasing around Daleks
Theres not even ten.
Angel statues all around
What ever you do dont blink
Dont even look at the ground.
They will take you back in time
Turn you into one of them
If you stare into their eyes.
The TARDIS is surprising
Bigger on the inside smaller on the outside
Takes you where ever you want, discovering
New planets, saving aliens.
The Doctor is amazing, such a quiet man
Takes you on adventures
Places you have never been.
The silence are creatures,
thats something new,
what was i writing about,
That gives you a clue

I scare my friends with the words I say

the urges are back and they wont go away.

I try to help someone else in this same place

but risk myself in this tiny phase.

Take care of myself before others

I pull my sleeves up to cover

myself from what shouldnt occur

I take care of others and not me

because they are more important than my safety.

You may not agree with what i say

but thats just my way.

Im fine, im alright, i won't

the most famous said words

But here I am again

fighting those urges

keeping my strength.

       Santa is real! When I was younger both my brother Scott and I would sleep in my older brother, Buddy’s bedroom on Christmas Eve. I would have my head underneath his desk and Scott would sleep on the floor as well but next to my brother’s bed. Well the Christmas before it, I caught my parents in the act of putting my presents underneath the tree so I stopped believing in Santa. But that Christmas, it was different, and proved that he was real to me. In the middle of the night “Santa” came into the bedroom that my brothers and I were in and woke me up. He said, “I have a present for you, come with me.” I was still half asleep but I saw this guy in Santa’s suit and was in shock. He picked me up and carried me to my bedroom and put me on top of my bunk bed. He handed me a gift, and it was a toy that I wanted and whispered in my ear, “See, I am real and don’t you forget it. Your parents help me out around this time of year because there are so many kids. If you don’t believe you don’t receive.” He hugged me and just left. From that point on I would write my letter for toys to my parents instead of Santa, put it in the mail box to us so that they would get it because I wanted Santa to have a break. I was so happy and when I hear my parents say, “You don’t believe you don’t receive” I think about that guy in the suit coming into my room and giving me that brand new toy.
  Read more »

The wind is blowing

All through the trees

It may sound scary

To you and me

But really this is all a dance

Watch them move, give them a chance.

They sway to the left and to the right

Dancing to their song all through the night.

Please dont worry because itll come to an end

Their song is now over and you can go to bed.

and when the sun peaks over the trees,

open your eyes and welcome the peace.

The winds of time are quiet for now,

look to the sun to show you how

to welcome the new day.

Normal people say they all want a super power; to fly, to be a genius, to have x-ray vision, super speed, so many things. Well, I was given a power that I thought I would like but now I'm just not sure anymore. What power do I have you ask? What power wouldn't I enjoy? I have the power to read minds. This ability is hard to control in the beginning and like many things, you have to practice using it in different ways before mastering your new profession I guess. But along with this I have something that I do enjoy dearly. Its hard to explain but the most simplest way to explain it is, I'm pretty much a computer hacker. I can get through any firewalls on one, I can crack every code, I can even just fix it. With this ability I like to say, I learn a lot of things very quickly. Some people just call me a genius, a geek, or nerd. But if you are really close to me and tend to be the same way, we like to call ourselves intellectual badass', sorry for my language but I like it a lot. Oh, did I mention there are others like me? There are about five people that I know who are similar to me. We don't really live within the community anymore. Now let me tell you my story. Read more »

As i close my eyes again I dream of angels who guard my bed Wondering what God does through the night Thinking he keeps the monsters out of sight. I pray for the health of everyone And continue to have their strength for the day to come I thank the lord for what he has done for me Giving me faith and a loving family Hoping that all have had a wonderful day For the moon is out and the sun is away. So watch over me til' i wake again And bless all those i love, amen.

Hearing about a shooting in Connecticut, in a kindagarden class nearly gave me a heart attack school. Not knowing where it took place only made me think about my little cousin who lives near by. Though I am deeply sadenned by the losses of those beautiful children, it gives me a greater appreciation for my family being safe. Gives me another reason to live life to the fullest and be thankful for what I have over what I want. If I could I would have put my life before those children and tried to save each and one of those beautiful kids, like their amazing teachers tried with all of their might, being the super hero those children believed in.

From the mothers first child,

to their first breath taken

to their first word spoken

and their first few steps before falling over and getting right back up.

Making their first friend and best friend

To their first lie, and first punishment

to their first brand new toy that they picked out

To getting excited for Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the tooth Fairy coming to town

Being excited yet nervous for their first day of school

Meeting a new face and trying to remember their name

Reading a book on their own or learning how to read a long word that feels impossible to them at first until they get it

Going from day care, to elementary school, junior high, and then high school

Graduating high school and starting to enter adulthood

Holding hands, first kiss, to first fight, and break up Read more »

I hear the sirens after the winter storm
Blues, whites, and reds as they flash in such a form.
The weather man told us through the night
To be careful out in the world because
all the snow can blind your sight
Some places listened and shut down
But people still left and slid through town.
If only if they listened to the weather mans tune
because they wouldn't of crashed and caused their own doom
I sit here wondering how many children let out a cry
Since mom and dad wont be coming home tonight.

All my life i have been called "One of the Guys." When playing pretend I would be the guy, when with a bunch of my guy friends I would act like one of them and be myself, which was playing rough just like the rest of them, I wore and wear guy clothing. Before ninth grade I was only friends with guys mainly because they were the only ones I could connect to. Then my mom scheduled play dates for me with girls, that way I seemed "normal." Over time I made friends that were girls, and am glad to say one of my best friends is one. I am now a Junior...Everyone says this is just a phase but they just don't understand. For a while I didn't tell anyone on here what my gender was, when they asked me I asked them what they thought I was from our conversations, and they said a guy. I didn't deny or approve of what they said, to leave it a mystery but I'm tired of not being myself. When I was younger I went through as people say "one of those phases" again and told my mom I was a guy, but was trapped in a girls body, when I was eight years old. I was living in FLorida at that time. I even went to the point of cutting my hair and taking my brothers clothes to try and show my mom my feelings, but she only got mad. After fighting about it then I gave up on telling her how I felt. So growing up I tried EVERYTHING to make myself seem more like a girl. I tried buying dresses, heels, anything that might seem normal. But when I wore the clothing I felt horrible, I felt wrong, I didn't feel like me. This year I tried talking about it again, first to one of my close guy friends. Read more »

Why instead of love we are given pain
Why instead of the sun we get rain
Why are we given fire instead of ice
Why are people cruel and rarely nice
Why are we given clouds instead of stars
Why aren't we given rocket ships instead of cars
Why is love based on gender
Why cant it just be happy ever after
There is a reason for all of our problems
They bring us together, all become one
We learn to fight for what we believe in
Even if they hurt us we learn to forgive them
All of these things make us stronger
Giving us the courage to stand taller
No longer be afraid of who you are
Accept yourself and you will go far

Dear everybody,
To those people who dont know, today is the 49th anniversary of the magnificent show Doctor Who. The wondrous adventures, the sad moments, the glorious moments, and the parts where you just sit on the edge of your seat waiting for the next move. If you got chosen you would be sooo lucky to go with the Doctor and fly away into wibley wobley timey wimey stuff inside of the Tardis, and go wherever you want! So go, watch this show and be amazed. Oh dont forget, Dont blink, dont turn your back, dont look away, and whatever you do, Dont Blink!!
Sincerely,
Whovians

I got to experience something that I thought I wouldn't before. I got to support my brother at the Vermont Outright awards. It was such a great experience that I would love to see more. You know there are people against this sort of thing, people of the same gender loving each other and wanting to be together. Well people I am glad to say I have two moms and a dad, a gay uncle, and brother. My family is truly amazing and I wouldn;t trade them for the world. Hearing that some people would think that was wrong or that i will be a LGBTQ well honestly, i have no clue yet but am thinking i might be, i dont know. Its a lot to think about to, its hard as well because I havent dated so I cant say what i exactly feel yet. Have I had a small crush on both genders, yes i think so. Back to the Vermont Outright event, I could never be more proud of my brother. He was nominated for an award but sadly didn't get it, well he still has done amazing things for the gay community, including fighting for equality marriage. I believe it doesn't matter what gender you are to love someone becauseit comes from the heart and if you have something against it then worry about yourself. I believe everyone should be happy with the person they love whether male or female or even transgender. There was one certain person who won an award that has inspired me or touched my heart. Read more »

*if you get disgusted or freaked out easily I do not recommend reading this. There are details that may not seem pleasant….sorry. Read more »

Who can I trust? Who can I tell?

That school, again, has turned to hell.

What have I done? What did I do?

To lose this trust that came from you.

I’ve been through this once and now again

Will this ever just stop and come to an end.

Do you realize what you have become?

I thought it was all over once those teenagers were gone.

You are a bully, that’s what you have become

This once great person that made reading lots of fun;

Is now my bully, what did I do to deserve this one?

Because of past scandals

This is sadly something that isn’t new for me to handle.

I have been bullied every now and then

It made me weak but over time

I have become strong instead.

From everything I’ve been through

I definitely know now what to do.

I will get a lawyer

To reach a higher power

And bring an end to your tower.

This school can mess with me once but not anymore

This game is now over and you have lost the war.

I heard something at my door. IT must have been three in the morning. I strain my eyes in the direction of my clock and back at the door. I could see a shadow on the other side, ‘Who the heck is up right now?’  I look over at my roommate to see her soundly asleep with the covers over her head. I slowly got up from my bed and tried to make my way to the door. CRASH! I try to hold the wince inside of me as I stumble over my desk. I manage to get to the door, before opening it I jumped to the ground and looked one more time at the shadow beneath the small opening from the door to the floor. It was Willow. Why would Willow be here right now? He could get us in deep trouble. A loud creak roars in the room as I barely open the door to find Willow standing there with a basket. ‘What the heck could be in that basket?’ I thought to myself.

“Willow, do you have any clue what time it is?” I rubbed my eyes to the bright light shining down in my face.

“Of course I know what time it is. Can we just go so that we don’t get in trouble?” He looked at me and then down at the basket.

“What do you mean? Where are we going?” I squinted my eyes as they decide not to focus straight from the bright light in my face.

“You will see soon enough. Lets go!” He put his hand out in front of me and after a brief second I took it in my hand. How warm his hand was. We haven’t held hands before, I have never held a guys hand before this but I’m glad it was with him. Read more »