jbancroft6's blog

The Best Christmas

On Christmas Eve every one was buying gifts.  Everyone but the Smiths and their little boy, named Dan.  He never had a Christmas in his six years of life.  All he wanted was a toy monster truck.  They had no money to buy anything at all.  All they had was a wooden shed and the clothes on their back.  So, Mr. Smith went for a walk. H e looked in every ally for the toy truck his dear son wanted.  On Main Street he saw one.  He went to grab it, and when he did he heard "don't you dare touch me!"

"who said that?" asked Mr. Smith.

"Look down, mister."

"Did you just talk?"

"Duh."

Then the truck and Mr. Smith started talking after he sat down.  Read more »

Rock Talk

One day, I was walking home from school, and I stopped to sit on a rock.  I was tired from a long day of tests.  Suddenly, I heard a gravelly voice, "Get off me!" it said.

I stood up and looked around to see where the voice was coming from.

"Aahh, much better," it said.

Then I realized that it was the rock talking!  "Sorry," I said.  "But I did not know that rocks talked!"

"Oh, yes," he replied. "What is your name?"

"Klaus".

"What do you eat?"

"I eat minerals." Read more »

The Twenty Page Essay

Miss Payne is one of the meanest and strictest teachers in the school, a while back she gave the class a twenty-page essay on the life cycle of an amoeba, due in two weeks.  Today is the day it needs to be handed in.  I absolutely need the paper to be spotless and unwrinkled to hand it in.

After showering, getting dressed, eating and getting my stuff ready I was ready to go.  I could not risk wrinkling my essay, so I carried it in my hands.  The second I stepped out of my house a flock of pigeons flying overhead bombarded me with poop!  I dodged and protected my paper.  When it was over I was covered, but I managed to keep my essay untouched. I kept going, when someone threw a water balloon filled with ketchup at me.  I ducked just in time because the water balloon brushed my hair and kept going.  It hit a truck, I blocked the essay from the spray, and the truck tipped over and broke open.  It was full of Hawaiian Punch that gushed out.  Somehow my essay did not get wet, but the spilled punch caused a truck full of skunks to tip over and break.  Read more »

I had an essay that was due and I wanted a taco, so I went to Kinney Drugs to get a taco shell maker, as seen on TV.   I saw it, and I wanted it, so I stole it from the store.  I thought I got away with it.  Later on I saw a police officer walking down my street, knocking on doors. 

I said, "Oh no! It's me!"

I ran and hid!  so, they came and knocked on our door and I came downstairs.  They took me to jail and I didn't get my taco or my essay!

My Basketball Comes to Life

It was an average basketball practice, but Jennifer knew something fantastic was about to happen.  Apparently she was right!  She was shooting hoops alone, when suddenly she heard "Ouch!  Watch the Head!" Jennifer was shocked!  I mean her basketball just TALKED!   She went over to her basketball and started to feel worried.

  She asked "Hello, is someone here?"

"Over here!"  said the basketball.

Jennifer went to investigate.  She picked up the basketball and it started scolding Jennifer.

"How would you like it if you were left in a sweaty bag, just to be brought out to be bounced on the head for an hour?

You would not like to be a basketball!" Read more »

The Food Chain Goes Backwards

"Why is your homework late?' Mrs. Bancroft asked.

"Well, here's the story class." I said.  "My dog ate my homework, well actually my neighbor's dog."

"We've heard that excuse a million times," Taylor replied.

"That's not all. Then Leo the stalking cat ate the dog, but then a mouse ate him.'" I continued.

"David has officially gone insane," Jennifer said.

"I already was." I told her.  "Then an elephant ate the mouse.  Then Steven ate the elephant."

"And that's why he's absent ?." Daniel made a guess at. Read more »

Hobo

So, the reason why my homework is not here is that   *flashback time*   This morning as I walked down the street to school I was confronted by a homeless man.  He asked me for any spare change.  As I pulled out my wallet from my backpack to give him a dollar,he grabbed my math homework and ran away.  I chased after him for a brief time when he ran up the fire escape to an apartment building.  I climbed up it, in hopes to corner him at the top.  As I got to the top, he jumped off to the next building.  I having my math homework stolen before, I  jumped off after him. Read more »

The Amazing Pencil Sharpener

It was another school day.  we took our seats at our desks except the people who needed to sharpen their pencils.  We had a really nice pencil sharpener, an electric one, that could sharpen the dullest pencil in no time at all. I wonder if anybody else realized that, because most of them would shove it in and push as hard as they could, as if it needed to die.

Oddly enough, I felt bad for the efficient little thing.  It obviously didn't deserve this.  After the crowd cleared out, we still had a few minutes before our first class, so I discreetly snapped the lead of my pencil and leisurely walked over to that amazing, abused pencil sharpener.  Everybody was chatting rather loudly, as I slipped my pencil into the small hole.  It seemed to purr with pleasure.  Even after I pulled the pencil out it was humming, as if wanting more. Read more »

The Date Excuse

"Well, you see the reason why I was late for our date was, *sigh*, I was near a  house fire. There was the fire crew there, all huddled around the back door.  Apparently, there was a couple of people trapped in the top floor.  I looked around for something to go in and try to rescue them.  There was some conveniently unused fire gear near me, so I decided to place it on and save the day!

I devised a plan to fly the conveniently placed helicopter  to the top floor and save the damsels in distress. Then I ran into the driver's seat of the helicopter and flew up to the roof.  I landed and ran to the nearest exit. I opened it and plunged into the fiery abyss.  As the smoked cleared, I could hear the damsel's soft, sweet sound of her screams of joy as I saved her from the roaring fire. Read more »

Excuses, Excuses

Me:   I didn't do my homework because I left my backpack outside.  I was running from a hoard of hippies and politicians.  When I went into retrieve my bag, a bunch of puffins holding star fruit and matches flew by.  They dropped the matches, and as I looked on in horror, my bag burst into flames.  I managed to save my homework, but burned my hands too badly to write.  As I went to buy burn cream a giant sinkhole appeared, swallowing the sore.  Thankfully, everyone was rescued by the puffins and were fed star fruit.

All of a sudden the hoard of hippies and politicians came up and gave me burn cream.  Then, to thank them I signed a petition for world peace.  I got a paper cut from it and dropped my homework.  It got trampled and it was ripped up into a million pieces. I would've taped it together, but I was out of tape and Staples was too far away.  So, that's why I din't do any homework.

Teacher:  Again?

I had spent my week's allowance on the new Strawberry Scrumptious Donut at the local donut bakery. I went to the picnic table to eat this new, very popular donut, but as I was about to take a bite, I heard this sort of whisper. The whisper sounded like it said "Don't eat me!"  But I wasn't sure.  When I went to take another bite, I heard the faint whisper again, this time louder. I looked all around me, but there was no one around. I know this sounds crazy, but I thought my donut talked to me. Then, the bizarre thing happen. I asked the donut if he was speaking to me, and he said yes! I dropped the donut on the picnic table and practically screamed.

"Donut be afraid. Ha Ha! Get it?" joked the donut.

"Y-y-y-yesss." I stammered.  "How can you talk?"

"That is a secret, I cannot tell you at this time, but I have a story to tell you."

"OK."

"As you know, most food does not like to be eaten, but you humans have always eaten us."

"Well, how else are we supposed to live?'

"Eating healthy foods like fruits and veggies will help you live your life better."

"How?'

"You will be strong and muscular. You could even run a marathon."

"Really?! I guess I should."

"You can have a little treat as long as you eat healthy and don't eat over 2000 calories."

"I will start eating healthy...right after this bite."

"Wait, Wait,Wait!"

But it was too late. I ate the donut and then went shopping.

Why I'm Late for School

The reason why I'm late for school is because I woke up late thinking about buffalo wings. Then I couldn't find my favorite sweater that had purple polka-dots on it.  By the time I got to the bus stop the bus was gone!  So, I had to walk all the way to school.  As I was walking, some guy came up to me and tried to sell me a watch.  He made me stay there until I bought one.  Then, I had to cross a railroad, but I had to wait for 30 minutes for a train with a lot of beach balls flying out of it, and smacking me in the face.  I was about to start walking again, when I was topped by a police officer who thought I was the guy who stole the watch.  He took me to jail, where I met a man named Jo.  He told me that he was brought here for an armed robbery.  We, then, had this long discussion about peanut butter.  When he had fallen asleep , I was able to escape by jumping out the window.  When I was one block away from school, I had to stop at the donut store and get a jelly donut, but they didn't have any.  Then, the police officer came and took me back.  I was with Jo again, and we had a longer discussion about jelly. Read more »

My name is Honor. I am fifteen and I was born without sight.  I have never dreamt,  but I am told extensively about what they are like by my sister, who I cannot live without.  Haven makes me feel like I can see anything.  She describes colors, sizes, shapes and patterns so that I can build them in my imagination. This is my sight.

I have never gone to church.  My parents say hat there is no need to, but it doesn't make sense to  me.    I spend my days thinking about God as Haven reads me her favorite passages from the Bible.  Finally, one day, I did what I thought I should have done from the moment I could speak.  I prayed.  I prayed that I could meet God and just pour out all of my thoughts and hopes, until I could talk no more.  I prayed that Haven would not have to spend half of her life helping me.  I prayed that I could see. Read more »

One day I was in an elevator, going down to the lobby to use the hotel's computer.  The elevator stopped!  There was only one person in there with me.  He was tall.  He said "The elevator has stopped."  I replied, "Yes, but the doors aren't opening."  That was when the lights went out.  "The hotel must have lost power."  he remarked.  "Yes, and it is very dark in here," I replied. Then he took out tons of glowsticks and the place lit up like daylight.  "Ahh, that's better,"I thanked him.

"So, where are you from?" 

"Vermont, what about you?'

"Australia.  What is your name?"  He inquired.

"Steven."

"Mine is Sean."

"I've always wanted to go to Australia." I stated. Read more »

I was walking up to the elevator, when a small kid around ten years old, cut me off.  I stopped and looked at him and he said "I'm sorry." He let me get in front of him.  When we both got into the elevator, he said "Where to?'  I said "The sixth floor."  He stopped to think and then he just randomly said, "The second floor."  I went to press my button, and he yelled "Stop!"

I jumped back and then he looked at me and smiled.  I went ahead and pressed number six button.  We were riding and then the elevator slowly stopped.  I thought it was slowing down to the sixth floor, but the voice on the intercom announced "There is a problem with Elevator B2".

I just stood there looking at the floor saying to myself, "No, no no. Why now?"  I told the kid there was a call button. He stood there looking nervous, so I pressed it.  The front desk answered the call.  I explained the problem, saying we were stuck. The not-so-nice lady replied, "Well, I can't help you right now, but you will get out of there alive, so don't worry." Read more »

I swear, I've been in there for 6 hours.  Timmy kept saying It had only been five minutes, but I didn't believe him. I was supposed to be at my dance recital, but instead, I was stuck in this elevator with a a stranger named Timmy.  I didn't want to talk to him, but he never stopped talking.

"What's your name?" he asked me , in an annoying voice. 

"Vicki." I mumbled. 

"Where do you live?"

"Why do you need to know?"

"No reason.  Hey, do you  like flowers?"

"Um...yes."

"Then let the flowers in your soul grow with my organic juice."  He took out his juice box and started laughing.  He was getting on my last nerve.  "Hey, do you...." He started talking, but I cut him off. Read more »

I was walking down the hall to an elevator when I picked a hair off my shirt.  Just then I had a horrible feeling in  my gut that told me to take the stairs.  I decided to ignore it, so I got into the elevator and I saw this little girl and her mom.  I said hi and turned to face the door of the elevator.  Just then, the elevator came to a hard stop.  We braced ourselves. I fluffed my skirt and asked, "Are you O.K.?"  she replied with a "get me out of here" tone of voice.  "Ya, I'm good. You?"  I sighed and said "Sure".  Right when I said that, the child started to cry. "Maybe we should sit," I said, and we sat down. Read more »

Elevator

One day, my mother and I were visiting a friend.  This friend of ours lived in an apartment building, a tall apartment building.  She lived on, like, floor 73 or something? Anyway my mom went up earlier than me, I don;t remember why.  When I finally went up the elevator it got stuck. Of course!  It had a blood red carpet and classic elevator music.  Yep, proof that the universe was against me.  The only other person within the elevator was a man with dreadlocks, tie-dye shirt, barefoot, with a purple satchel with a peace sign on it.

When the elevator came to a halt I tried to plitely ignore him.  But no, he had to talk to me.  "Do you like flowers?" he asked me suddenly. "Umm.... sure," I responded, not quite sure of myself. "Why?"

"Would you like to let the flowers in your soul grow with my organic juice?"  He held up a bottle full of liquid that looked like tomato juice. My response was one of a confused person.  I couldn't speak.   "Completely natural", he continued," All homemade." Read more »

One day Mr. Bimbo was inside an elevator going to work when all of a sudden the elevator stopped. "What the heck?"s yelled Mr. Bimbo. Mr. Bimbo pressed every button, but none of them did anything. then a buttom magically appeared. Mr. bimbo pressed it, and the doors to the levator opened and outside ws a field with flowers and butterflies. "Where am I?" questioned Mr. Bimbo. "You're in Elevatorland," explained an elf. "who are you?" asked Mr. Bimbo. "My name is Steve," explained the elf. "what do mean?" said Mr. Bimbo. "May I see your hand", asked Steve, "My han- ow!" screamed Mr. Bimbo. Steve pricked him with a needle and was examing his blood. "Red blood! A Human!" shouted Steve. "yeah, it's kind of obvious," said Mr. Bimbo. "You're the chosen one!" sang Steve. "I am?" questioned Mr. Bimbo. "You must defete the Hydra," sang Steve. "I'm not doing that, plus I'm afraid of snakes", stuttered Mr. Bimbo. "do you want to leave and go back to work?" asked Steve. "How did you know I was going to work?" asked Steve. "Because I was in the levator watching you," laughed Steve. 'Stalker", thought Mr. Bimbo. "Wait, how did I not see you?" asked Mr. Bimbo. "Well, I am magical," sang Steve. "Good point," said Mr. Bimbo. When Mr. Bimbo and Steve arrived at the Cave of The Hydra, Steve shoved him in. "How do I kill it?' whispered Mr. Bimbo. "Duck!" yelled Steve. "Duck?" said Mr. Bimbo. Mr. bimbo ducked. "That was a close one!" said Steve. "Ya think!" yelled Mr. Bimbo. Then the Hydra slithered out of the cave and made a tremendous roar. "AAAAHHHH!" screamed Mr. Bimbo. Read more »