perspiciens's blog

Away from you
This is the best I'll ever feel
How can you want me?
I wonder who you were supposed to get...
At the thought of seeing you
My heart races
My heands yearn for their companions
I want you near
What kind of cruel world is this?
Providing people with banquets
They can't taste but once a week

I don't mind the hunger though
I know that those few hours
Will completely fill me

Why aren't you here?
Why am I not there?
Why aren't we cuddling?
Why do I feel so alone?
How can night turn to day
If I still can't see my sky?
How can our blood keep pumping
If we're not pulsing with our hands?
How can I smile willingly
If you're not here beside me?
How can I be happy
If we're so far apart?

The slashes on my wrists are from the blackberry bushes
The pinpricks on my fingertips are from the thorns
The blood on my lips is from the delicious fruit
The bruises on my face are berry stains

My hands long for yours
They search blindly
Fumbling over each other
Knowing they're not yours
Because mine aren't as soft
And mine won't tingle

They don't feel without you

Your hands are softer than mine
Your face is cuter than mine
Your eyes are better than mine
Your voice is lovelier than min
Your body is stronger than mine
Your mind is smarter than mine

You are more than I

i. I have never felt so content, so quixotic, so ineffable until now.
ii. I've never felt this with anyone else before - you must be special.
iii. I don't think I've ever hated an inanimate object so much as I hated my pillow for not being you last night.

Our hands connected
The first time
Relief

Our thumbs rubbed
The unconcious reaction
Comfort

Or fingers squeezed
The reinforcing action
Glee

Our heads bent
The relaxed love
Quixotism

The periods are supposed to be spaces but it won't do it with spaces so...

I wonder if you noticed how it felt
.Holding hands
Ineffable

I love the secure grip of your hand in mine
.Or mine in yours
Indescribable

I want your head and mine together
.Forever
Indefinable

I need your thumb stroking mine
.Endlessly
Inexpressable

I love you

Thank whomever that YWP is back up.
I think my life can continue now.

i. Young Writers Project is down AKA life has gone on hiatus.

I dream of holding your hand
Of brushing your hair out of your eyes
Whispering "I love you" as we cuddle

I dream of curling up with you
Of camping out under the stars
Singing to each other day after day

I dream of writing for you
Of composing beautiful melodies
Crying next to you on the couch as we watch a movie

I dream of your arm around my waist
Of soft kisses for fun
Splashing each other with dish water

I dream of late night talking
Of endless poetry and love
Staying by your side for eternity

I dream of you
Of you
You
♥

i. I could study people for hours.
ii. As of now, I am eager to teach this punk a leasson in learning to listen.
iii. You guys are indubitably my people.
iv. The tears coming to my eyes are a sure sign of dementia.
v. You having a life outside of school seems like such a far-fetched idea.
vi. If you could just shut up, I think I could stand you.
vii. "Eat the muffin; Taste the muffin; Remember the muffin." -Izzie
viii. "Teach with enthusiasm; Learn with enthusiasm." -Richard
ix. "Mistakes are how you learn." -Hunt
x. "Life's too short to live any other way." -Sloan

xi. "They're my family. They're who I have. You and them." -Meridith

i. "Is there are time for keeping your distance? A time to turn your eyes away? Is there a time for keeping your head down? For getting on with your day?" -U2
ii. I've missed the you that used to sit with me every morning and talk.
iii. With your childish grin and excited eyes, you told me that everything would be alright.
iv. I question how any sensible human could ever let their hair dangle in such an unruly fashion.
v. "...started as a sketch in my notebook..." -Rage Against the Machine
vi. The formality I'm imposing on myself makes me sick.
vii. I blame myself for your discontent; if only I could hold you.
viii. Where am I when you need me?
ix. I'm not doing everything in my power to be there for you and I hate that.
x. If I could get there, this would all go away.
xi. The comfort i can provide from here is nothing compared to my potential.

i. The date's relief washes over me like a warm shower, relaxing my tense muscles.
ii. The fear created energy but now that the energy is gone, the fear is a raw element lodged in my stomach, like a red-hot rock burning to get out.
iii. No matter how much I read into this, it's not going to change.
iv. Like a street ball player should familiarize himself with the dips in the court, I want to familiarize myself with the arrangement of chairs but this is not a game.
v. "I do not pretend to understand these feelings." -Grendel; John Gardner
vi. "Religion is sick." -Grendel; John Gardner
vii. "The ultimate evil is that Time is perpetual perishing..." -Grendel; John Gardner
viii. The familiarity of your blue eyes cooled the fire and me remember who we are.
ix. I love the trickle of your voice babbling over the phone as it washes over me.

i. I went to bed thinking about it, I woke up thinking about it, and I'm still thinking about it - it's everywhere.
ii. The ticking of the clock seems to constant reminder of how much time there is between here and there.
iii. Blind prophets indicate that you don't need eyes to see.
iv. If time turners could speed time up...
v. I can talk to you because you won't get distracted with other things.
vi. "I'm not leaving." -Kill the Alarm
vii. "Some may say I've got it wrong; well at least I've got something." -Kill the Alarm
viii. "Get up and start living" -Kill the Alarm
ix. "There have got to be stabler things than love." -Grendel; John Gardner
x. The timing of buying this journal and the recent events - impeccable.
xi. "Shall I call the tree tyrannical, since where it stands nothing survives but itself and its high-borne guests?" -Grendel; John Gardner

i. "When ignorance reigns, life is lost." -Rage Against the Machine
ii. "'Cause I know the power of the question." -Rage Against the Machine
iii. I will no longer e-mail things that could be misinterpreted.
iv. Algebra or writing - is there a question?
v. Homecoming fireworks boom as I sit here trying to do homework.
vi. "Wake up!" -Rage Against the Machine
vii. If people burned a crapload of money, what would that do to the economy?
viii. "The circle of hatred continues until we react." -Rage Against the Machine
ix. You're going to get killed by the internet and then we'll never have said "Goodnight".