Turquoise Wishes's blog

Jake and I sit in my car until midnight. We said nothing, but just sat there and looked at each other. We would burst out in laughter for no reason, and as weird as it seems, I became the happiest I have ever been.
"I think I have to go home," I say glancing at the dash board clock.
"Really? You couldn't spend the night?" He asks sarcastically.
"Lets tell my parents we're dating first," I say with a smile.
Jake rolls his eyes.
"Night," he says leaning in to kiss me.
I kiss him, but pull away before I want more.
"Night," I say softly.
He gets out and walks to his truck. I start up my car and pull out from the school, onto the road. I turn on the radio and listen to the late night rap the DJ is playing. When I pull into the drive way I see all the lights are on in the house.
Shit.

I see you
I feel you
I know you are meaning to do something.
You are there to unbreak my heart
You open the door to the light
Shinning rays of hope upon my life.
Holding you I feel I might cry
Here with you makes me feel sorry
for everything.
I have no idea who you are,
but
there is something I do know.
I'm love you with every piece of my soul.

With every breath I take I feel a though I might go under, but you come to my rescue.
You give me the breath I need.
Moving forward with you means skating on love.
With every step I take I know you are there.
In my heart you stay there,
lighting up the dark.
Leading each other through life is what we were meant to do.
Being here with you is what I was meant to do.

After Jake closes the front door I break down in tears, right there on the stairs.
"How did I get here?" I ask myself out loud between blubbers. "Why me? Why does this have to happen to me?" I say wiping a tear from my cheek.
My tears streak down my face straight down to the floor. They leave little puddles of hope on the tile. I decide its not worth crying about and climb up the stairs.
"He'll be back," I think optimistically to myself as I change my cloths.
As I head down the stairs I see the head lights to a car pulling into the drive way. Soon, my dad walks through the door.
"Hey kiddo, do anything fun today?" He asks.
Ya, making out and playing 20 questions with a vampire, nope. No fun at all.
"No, watched a little T.V," I say.
Then a thought pops into my head.
"I was actually going out," I say grabbing my coat, boots, and keys.
I run out of the house as fast as I can.
"Where are you going?" He calls after me.
"Wal- Mart," I lie.

Later that day I head up stairs to change. Jake still sits in the recliner staring at the ceiling, lost in thought.
"Are you okay?" I ask.
"Ya, ummm... I think I'll go home for awhile. You know, catch up on some sleep and things like that," he says getting up.
I begin to think I struck something when I was asking him questions. Why do I always ruin these things?
"Okay, I guess I'll see you later," I say avoiding his gaze.
"I don't think so. Just not tonight," he says walking towards me.
He gently kisses me on the lips then turns and walks out the door. I have that feeling I did something, but I just don't know what.

Every where I go nothing seems to be what it was.
I stand up and try to look for the better picture.
I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I know I can do better.
I'm not the saddest and I'm not the happiest.
I'm stuck some where in between.
Nothing is complete in my life.
I have to find the strength to pull through.
Even though I know I never will,
I try.
Every day is a struggle.
The sky hangs it's head in shame and gently begins to weep in sorrow.
Tears of snow begin to fall from hazy sky.
Gray clouds grow thicker under the pressure
and
begin
to
break.
I colapse in pain and scream.
Break through rays f light peer through the empty clouds.
They shine on me and welcome me in.
Pulling me closer and closer to the depths of the inner light.
Slowly I lift my head and begin to move forward.

I know what you are.
You are the type that uses every person they can get their hands on.
I know you try and hide it, but
it never works.
Using me was that worst thing you could ever do.
I guess its just what you do, but
you screwed up
big time.
I may seem sweet.
In reality
I can rip you to shreds.
I am now your worst nightmare.
You always thought I couldn't do anything,
until now.
The tables have turned.
Next time
I will hurt you.

My mind tries and tries to take in what is happening to me. Every thing from my dream makes me think that nothing is really what it appears to be. I pull away from Jake's amazing face and stare deep into his eyes.
"Is this real? You aren't making this all up?" I ask still not believing.
"Making what up?" He asks tilting his head.
"I'm not sure I can believe any of this. You choose me, but have so much placed in front of you. You could have chosen some other girl, one with sub- human powers too," I say pausing. "I guess what I'm really trying to get at is why you choose me," I say.
He only smiles making me regret I said anything at all.
"What matters is that I'm with you. It's like I'm pulled to you. You have this way about you that makes me almost regret never seeing you before this. I can't help that you sway me in ways people should never have to hear. As bad as that may seem, you make my mind try to over come obstacles," he says pulling away from my gaze.

I'm sorry.
For doing it all.
Ever thing is wrong.
I know.
Its making me want to cry.
I didn't mean to do it.
I'm sorry,
about it all.
I know I can't take it back,
but
if I could I
would.
I just hope you know
I'm sorry.

I close my eyes
Lights dance all around me.
Blinding me.
Burning.
Like acid it leeks into my eyes,
Destroying the darkness,
forcing light into the deepest crevices.
It rips me to shreds.
Making me pace back and forth
killing my inner space.
Then
I open my eyes,
and there you are.

When I go to sleep that night I dream of Jake. I go outside, to my front yard and there he sits on one of our lawn chairs.
"Well, it took you long enough," he says.
"What? Wait, isn't this MY dream. You aren't suppose to be here," I say confused.
"Dreams are your subconscious speaking through to you in subliminal messages," he says sinking down lower into the chair. "I just happen to be able to hack into them,"
"What?" I ask still confused.
"Okay, I'm sick of beating around the bush. I like you and I know you like me," he says getting up from the chair. "I have a feeling you are thinking about me. Like, some of the things I do, I know you wonder about,"
"Listen, I KNOW you are something else, but I just don't know what it is. Yet," I say.
For reasons unexplained I really haven't given any thought to what he might be. Just what he does. At this point I don't really care, but would like an explanation.

When the Thai food arrives later, we all sit down at the table. Awkward silence fills the room, all except for our chewing.
"So, Jake, hows your Curry?" I ask smiling.
"Just peachy," he says putting on a fake smile.
He looks back down at his container in disgust and when he looks back up he glares at me.
"Doesn't any one else see that he is glaring at me?" I ask.
Both my parents take their eyes off of me and look over at Jake. He sits there pretending to eat his Curry, and looks up and smiles. Faker.
My parents turn back to me and they each give me their evil looks. Damn, he is good. Too good. Something is wrong with this picture. First he saves me, breaks into my house, kisses me, then eats my damn Curry. Thats just screw-y. Something is just wrong.
"Can I be excused?" I ask.
Both my parents look at me and shrug their shoulders.
"We do have company," my dad says.
"Fine, I'll just be right back," I say standing up.
I walk over to the other side of the table by Jake.

When my mom and dad get home later that night I panic and have no idea what to tell them. I could tell them the truth and happen to slip it out during diner.
"Oh, by the way. Earlier today that guy that saved me stayed and talked to me after you guys left this morning, but before he left he just happened to kiss me too," for some reason this just doesn't seem to be the right response they might want from me.
Or I could tell them a complete lie and say "I'm fine mom. Really."
I weigh both possibilities and decide to go with a little bit of both. Spice things up a little.
"Oh, honey!" My mom says hugging me. "I'm so sorry I couldn't stay home from work today. I hope your okay," she says pulling me even closer.
"Mom, I'm fine. Seriously,let me go," I say. "If anything I can remember hardly any of it," I lie. I think I'm getting good at the whole "twisting the truth" thing.
She releases me from her grip and studies me for a minute.
"Your sure?" She asks.

In my world theres make believe and reality.
You fall some where in between.
I try to make sense of why you're here, but
nothing comes to mind.
I'm tore into pieces.
Trying to choose between my life and ours.
Every thing is falling apart to keep us away from each other.
We try and try, but its all against us.
Our families and friends say nothing, but
glare instead.
You love me, but you have no idea who I am.
I love you, but know nothing about you.
I don't want to say goodbye, but wake up every morning next to you.
Every thing is meaning nothing, until now.
There is one thing.
I choose you.

Before the front door can shut completely I catch it and run out.
"Jake!" I yell spotting him half way down the street.
He turns back around and stars walking back.
"You've come back for more?" He asks sarcastically.
"Right, like a cat to water," I reply with a smirk.
"Good analogy, your good at catching on," he tells me. "So, do you really want me or my smell?" He asks smiling.
I feel my face rush with color.
"Maybe I'm in it for your body," I say sticking out my tongue.
"Well then. I prefer this to be more of a 'getting to know each other' kind of thing. Not just a 'physical' thing," he says.
I look straight into his eyes and find that he is telling the truth.
"How come you are so fast?" I ask.
"Comes with the smell," he says with a wink.
"Right, whatever. You won't give me any answers so the I'll go inside," I say turning around to the door.
"Before you do there is one more thing," he says twirling me around and pulling me closer.

Jake and I talked for hours. We said nothing special, once we got past the basics like what we like and dislike, we talked about meaningless things.
"Wheres your favorite Thai food place?" He asks me.
"I don't really know. I guess its the one on the corner by Cumbies," I say.
"What?! That gas station crap!" He says surprised.
"You have a problem with my taste in Thai food?" I ask.
"Yes, I do. I think you would like mine a lot better," he says with a smirk.
I roll my eyes and think that he just might poison me.
"What? You'll break into my house, then criticize my taste in Thai food? I think you need to take a better look at the bigger picture," I say.
"So, just because I can cook better then some fast food place, that makes me some sort of jerk?" He asks giving me a crocked smile.
"No, its just when you happen to break into my house," I reply smiling back.

The next morning I wake up with a headache. The lump on my head had shrunk some, but caused my head to throb uncontrollably. I start to remember what happened the previous night and wished that it could happen all over again. The image of his amazing green eyes taunts me as I slowly get out of bed. I'm still in my jeans and t- shirt from yesterday when I decide to take a shower an change.
I go down stairs after my shower and see a note was left on the counter.

Casey-
Dad had to go to work today and so did I. We'll talk about what happened later. There is macaroni and cheese in the freezer.
Love,
Mom

Being lonely is something I'm not good at.
I can't feel the way I felt before.
I won't be ignored.
Time won't heal my wounds.
I can't feel anything anymore.
Why can't you accept that?

I'm the life the of the party.
Going around and around
I feel I might get sick.
Going higher then anyone else, I might just do something
stupid.
I think people are starting to understand that I'm not
Super Girl.
I might
just change their minds.
Become something I'm not.
Be the one person that I
hate.
Maybe I'll be double sided and be me and
Super Girl.

When I wake up I see the familiar dim light of my desk lamp. It only lights up a small corner of my room, leaving the rest to be swallowed by the darkness. I sit up and see my mom slumped in my computer chair fast asleep. I get up to go wake her, but instead I'm grabbed by my waist and pulled back to my bed. I open my mouth to scream, but its quickly covered to keep me quiet. My eyes flash with the thoughts and memories of what happened in the computer lab.
"Shhhh. Casey, it's okay. I'm not the one who tried to hurt you. If anything I'm the one who saved you," a deep velvet voice whispers. "I want you to understand that I'm not the one who needs you, but the one who wants you. I know you don't me, but you will. Soon," the smooth voice continued.
I turn my head to see a pair of shimmering green eyes watching me intently. They captivate me and hold me in a cradle of emeralds. Shining like the moon in the night sky. They overwhelm me with depths unknown to the human race.

This is an edited version of the first story that I posted. A lot of it has changed to make it less Twilighty... Its still a work in progress.

My eye lids flutter open to a loud screeching noise. I lift my head from my deep slumber to see my advance biology teacher dragging his nails down the chalk board. We all cover our ears in pain as he continues talking
"Now that I have everyone's attention," he stated, "we can continue with todays lesson."
Everyone groans with the same thought in mind.
"Mr. Wells needs a new hobby instead of another biology class."
"Ms. Phillips?" He asks me. "Can you tell me what the role is of an ATP in the coupling of the cells anabolic proses is?"
My response was nothing short of intelligence.
"Huh?"

okay, all those people that have read my vampire stories I greatly thank you. I do how ever have decided to change just about everything about it. I've been working on part one, and right now its changed greatly from the story line to adding characters. So, if things are going the way they are with part one then part two will also be changed. Please keep the comments coming! Thanks!

Remember those nights we use to stay up all night and say nothing at all?
Remember that night beneath the stars when you said you loved me?
I remember.
I want to go back and try not to remember.
I want to take it all back.
You ruined it all, you gave it and then took it back.
No one wants to be the one to remember.

Surrounded by your images I cry of our lost lives.
Nothing is here except the ruins of our love.
Chard pictures lay in the ashes of fallen dreams.
Our hearts were something out of nothing.
Like a Romeo and Juliet story we beat the odds, but in the end we were both lost forever.

I just want to say I miss you.
I miss everything about you.
Your laugh, and smile, but most of all,
I miss your love.
How you loved me beyond meaning.
How we could be together and no one knew.
Now we can't see eachother, I feel almost broken.
We said we would always be together forever, but its different now.
Forever has just gotten harder.
All I wanted to say was that I missed you.

When I wake up I'm laying on the cot on the nurses room. Jars of tonge depressers and cotton swabs sit on the counter. The nurse, Miss. Wilson, types on her computer and next to her desk sits a guy about 17. He is wearing Carhartts, a dark blue sweatshirt and is staring at the floor. When I sit up he immeaditly looks at me as though I might tip over.

"Well, its about time sleepy head," Miss. Wilson comments.

She gets up grabs a thermometer and sticks it under my tongue.

"When it beeps, take it out sweetheart," she tells me. Ya, like I haven't ever taken my temperature before. Good one.

"I don't think we need your services anymore Mr. Calhoun," she said to the guy in the chair.

This is a random story I came up with. It's not the best; in fact, it's kind of cheesy, but it's a work in progress.

Most teenagers go through countless relationships in their lives and never remember their first true love. However there are those few that have had their first kiss, but never really have had a first love. I am one of those few and really don't why. I'm often put into the spot light for my girly looks and my ability to make a witty come-back. I'm always considered the pretty one, but never the girl who gets the guy. Some times I think about this, but before its too late I catch myself, and right now this is one of those times.

I'm in first period advance bio and not really paying to much attention, until now. I've just got called on to answer a question and Mr. Wells isn't impressed.

I remember locking my eyes on you.
You stood in a black tuxedo with a single red rose.
"For you," you said handing me the rose and lightly kissing my hand.
Your warm brown eyes smiled with excitement and anticipation.
You took me to the beach and we watched the stars.
For hours we said nothing.
Sharing only gentle kisses and smiles.
I remember how you could say nothing, but made it mean everything.

Like a knot, we are a tangle of two bodies.
Skin to skin we spark something too powerful for words.
All I know is I feel you next to me, breathing breaths of passion.
With you, I feel like I might melt.
Your hand presses me closer then ever.
I hear our hearts beating together.
They talk with each other exchanging gentle thuds with one another.
Then you look at me and say nothing.
Sometimes I think when you don't say anything, I know it will only get better.

I never thought this moment would come.
It took you forever to figure it out, but you did it.
You made everything happen at once.
Well, you made one thing happen at least.
Some say love at first sight is make- believe, but when you looked at me I knew it was for real.