booklover's blog

Kneeling on the paint-stained floor,
I barely notice the walls I've seen since I was small
The multicolored tiles rise in uneven lumps underneath me
As I read
In a space that smells soothingly
Of books, socks, glue, and paint
An odd combination,
But comfortingly familiar

The walls covered in books
Rise up beside me
With dozens of familiar titles
That sometimes get rearranged, which annoys me
This is the place
Where I listened to stories in preschool,
Visited throughout elementary school,
And worked in through middle school
I've formed friendships, eaten candy,
Found my favorite books, played the clarinet,
Painted scenery for the drama club play,
Ended the biggest friendship fight I've ever witnessed,
Fallen down the stairs,
Listened to an ipod,
And gotten locked out
The 200-year old building is so familiar to me,
I notice whenever something is misplaced
It feels like a second home

So does it surprise you,
That this building
Where I've read,
Drawn, Read more »

The snow is dancing,
Twirling,
Swirling
Whispering enchanting melodies
Singing a haunting song
It drifts gently in sweet flurries
Past the window
The world seems to be blanketed
In powdered sugar
As the snow flies and dances
And swirls through the winter air
And forms drifts
Piles and piles of little dancing flakes
Create a field of diamond white

But someone
Has brought the snow indoors
Little hands,
With plastic scissors that barely cut,
Have fashioned intricate flakes of paper
Replicas of the dancers outside
Detailed designs and patterns
Create tiny snowflakes
That dance on the inside of the window
Fluttering in nonexistent wind,
They whisper rhymes of playful joy
And spread the chill of winter through the house

Someone
Has brought the snow inside
To sing, to twirl
To fly, to swirl
In a sugary dance
Through the glass, through the chill
Paper snowflakes
Have brought winter

And on the floor,
There are tiny scraps of paper
Triangles, squares Read more »

Why, may I ask
Is the moon
Hanging suspended in the velvety sky
Such a symbol of hope,
Light,
And beauty?
Why, may I ask
Is the moonlit snow
So much more beautiful
Than it is during the day?
That sparkling field of white
Dotted with stars,
Splashed with moonlight
Laughs at me
Glitters with a thousand diamonds,
A hundred stars

And the darkened sky
Envelopes me
As I stand
In the magical, pearl white snow
And the wind whispers enchantingly to me
Asking me questions
Giggling in my ears
Gossiping happily
As if it's alive

The icicles sparkle
With beads of reflected starlight
And the moon shimmers
With the light of reflected hope
The snow shines
With a light of peace
And the calm
Is overwhelming

Why, may I ask
Is the snow
So inspiring?
Such a cold, cold sheet of ice
Such a crystalline diamond plain
Why is the moonlight, may I ask,
As I stand alone under the stars,
So joyful?
Why is winter
So beautiful,
So hopeful?

I'm drifting
On a sea of happiness
Floating
On an invisible cloud
I'm dancing
In an empty ballroom
With myself

I'm singing a solo
To an empty auditorium
And I don't care
That no one else knows
How excited I am
I don't mind
Keeping it bottled up inside myself
Because the happiness
Doesn't mind being lonely
At all

I'm filled with so much joy
That it's hard to describe
The way I feel as if
I'm dreaming,
Singing,
Dancing
In my mind
So I don't tell anyone
And it doesn't matter

Because the happiness
Doesn't mind being lonely
At all
I'm that overjoyed

The violinist freezes
Her bow raised over the strings,
She adjusts the music,
Then begins to play

And the melody blows me away

Her frizzy hair falling in her face,
Her bright blue sweater glowing in the light of the chandelier,
Her socks mismatched, her earrings dangling
She doesn't look like someone you'd see on stage, in the spotlight
Standing in the messy kitchen,
Stopping to eat a handful of chocolates every few minutes
But when she picks up her violin,
The music sweeps over me

And the melody blows me away

There is no way to describe
The fantastic escalation of scales
Sweeping up and down a staircase, it seems
Faster and faster
Twirling, dancing, at a dizzying rate
Quick, staccato clips of sound
Merge together to create a measure,
And then a line,
And then a song...

And the melody blows me away

Pages flipping, bow dancing
Fingers singing, hair flying
Eyes intently focused on the music
Her mouth is full of food,
Her hair full of knots,
But, Read more »

The little girl sits beside me on the piano bench
And turns the music's pages
As I let my fingers drift through the melody
Gently tapping the keys,
Lightly creating soothing music
Soothing, yes,
Unless you know the words
Like I do

The tune is soft and gentle
Sad and sweet
And it is far, far too realistic for me

I continue to play the sweet notes
Through my unshed tears

The lyrics speak of lonliness,
Sadness
And dreams that haven't come true
I can feel the ache in the back of my head as I try to forget
Try to forget the truth of this song
Try to forget my awkwardness,
My shyness
I've forgotten about the girl beside me,
Wrapped up in my lonely little fantasy
I don't think she understands

Suddenly, I hear a tiny note
A gentle tap from the top of the keyboard
It comes again, again and again
Strengthening the music

The song drifts away
The little girl looks at me with big, serious brown eyes
And says:
“I love this.” Read more »

From an icy, frozen mountain
To a desert, cracked and dry
From a fish beneath the ocean
To an eagle swooping by
From a diamond in the soil
To a bluebird in the air
From a seal submerged beneath the waves
To a butterfly, so fair
Is there really ever anything
That has a greater worth?
The universe is begging us:
Oh please, just save the earth

From the tiniest little beetle
To a redwood tree, so tall
From a leaf blown upon the breeze
To a raindrop in mid-fall
From some rocky cliffs below us
To a flower in full bloom
From the bottom of the deepest lake
To the outlines of the moon
Is there really ever anything
That has a greater worth?
The universe is begging us:
Oh please, just save the earth

The little girl in China
The boy in Tennessee
The crying baby in its mother's arms
Across the choppy sea...
They're wishing for a world that's whole
A world with amazing worth
They're asking us with silent pleas:
Oh please, just save the earth Read more »

Sun beams drift lazily in through the windows
Windows that are stained with the hand prints of little children
A girl prepares food in one corner
And another sits at the table, a tiny puppy cradled in her arms

Yet another little girl holds up a bottle of water
A dog toy sits abandoned in the middle of the floor
As hands reach into a bag of crackers,
The happiness and calm is almost tangible

And definitely real

The youngest child holds up a nature magazine
And asks, “Is this lemur cute?”
Everyone nods, and the girl with the puppy takes the bottle of water
And says, “I've seen one of those at a zoo before.”

Crystal drops on a chandelier catch the sunlight,
Reflecting it out onto the blanket of snow outside
The white walls catch rainbows from it,
And a sparkling light fills the room

The gigantic hanging plant that fills the space
Seems to claw at the tiny cat poised below it
It reaches up a dainty paw and bats at a vine Read more »

Inspiration,
Where are you?
Why won't you pay me a visit?
Whisper in my waiting ear,
Everything I want to know?
Inspiration, I miss you
I miss your comforting presence
In the back of my mind
I miss the soothing knowledge that I'm not alone
That I have
Inspiration

Inspiration, come whisper to me
Tell me a story
Tell me of silvery meadows,
Golden roads,
Heavenly clouds,
Emerald leaves,
Blistering heat,
Silvery ice
I really don't care what, Inspiration
As long as it's you

Inspiration, why?
Why have you deserted me?
Left me alone
Ignorant, idle
A writer without you, Inspiration
Is like a forest without trees,
A star without flame
Please, Inspiration
Come inspire me
I miss you

It was late summer, and the sky was just beginning to set. Typically, this was the exact time we wanted to go outside. Calling quick goodbyes to our parents, my two sisters and I hurried out the front door before we could be stopped. Barefoot, we raced across the lawn and into the darkening woods. Our paradise.
We scrambled over to the fort, our fort. A rock ledge with a roof attached and walls surrounding it all. A winding rock staircase, a upper floor on top of the ledge, a pulley connecting the two floors. This was what we had worked on all summer: this painfully constructed, shabby fort made of leftover boards. A masterpiece. Read more »

The trees seem to sprout
From the silvery snow
Their trunks bathed in winter light
They just emerge from the frozen landscape,
Mysteriously
As if their hearts are frozen
In ice

The trees
Create, with icy talons
A clutching, frozen canopy
That overwhelms the sky
Clawing at nothingness,
They make it
Hard to breathe

The trees
Attack the air
Attempting to tear away
The clouded glass
To see
What lies beyond the sky
Beyond their knowing

So the trees grow
Climbing higher and higher,
Grasping, clutching
Trying, trying so hard
With icy breath and frozen tears,
Snowy trunks and crystalline branches,
Trying so, so hard
To reach beyond their icy limitations
To reach the untouchable
Sky

I was afraid
It was dark, and I held my breath
Waiting, waiting
I was about to call out in fear,
When suddenly,
A creature
I thought of it as a monster
Entered the dark room
Impossibly enormous for the space
It announced that it was ravenous
Starving
And before I could flee
It grabbed me and tossed me down its gaping throat
Where I fell...
fell...
fell...
Into a dark abyss...
Until I awoke

I was afraid
It was dark, and I knew
Monsters were nearby,
Instinctively
I climbed out of bed
But before I could seek the comfort of my parents
As I tiptoed past the door,
Slimy creatures of every description
Dark blues and greens
Covered with sharp fangs and tearing claws
Reached out to me
And I ran...
ran...
ran...
Into the blackened night...
Until I awoke

I was afraid
I awoke
I was drenched with sweat
Timidly, I climbed out of bed
Lowered my five-year old self to the floor
Raced past the door,
Terrified of whatever lurked behind it Read more »

The trees whisper to me
They rattle in the cold wind
Shaking frozen icy limbs
Moaning forlornly in the darkened night
Calling out to me
Whisper, whisper

The snow whispers to me
Silently blanketing the frozen earth
With complete stillness
Powdering the world like a icy cake
Glinting with silver in the dim light
Whisper, whisper

The stars whisper to me
Shining with a harsh, cold light
Reflecting off my eyes
Moving, swaying
Forming frozen patterns and cold designs
Whisper, whisper

The moon whispers to me
Smiling gently on my hair
Glowing with a soft yellow light
Stationary in the ebony sky
Heating the winter chill
Whisper, whisper

The night whispers to me
Surrounding me in never ending darkness
Stretching out as far as my eyes can't see
Reaching, clutching at nothing
A sinister, dark silence
Whisper, whisper

Winter
Whispers to me
Surrounding me, touching me
Enclosing me
With its frozen chill
I just wish I knew
What it's saying

I sit cross-legged on the floor of my bedroom, its walls covered in Winnie-the-Pooh wall paper, which is peeling in spots where I've picked at it, with my sister next to me. I lean against the cold metal bunk bed, trying to peel a bright pink sticker off it with my extremely short fingernails. My sister has her feet propped up on my plastic pink desk, and is staring off thoughtfully into space.
“So where are they today?” I ask excitedly. My sister strokes an imaginary beard, trying to portray wisdom.
“Hmmm, let me think,” she murmurs. “I don't know if they're back from Bermuda yet...”
I scratch a scab on my tanned leg, the consequence of trampling through raspberry bushes all summer. “Can't you talk to them?” I ask impatiently. Read more »

It's my water
It's what keeps me going
When all else fails,
I still have
Music

It's so easy to come home
After a stressful day at school
Sit down at the piano
And watch my fingers
Come to life
Dance over the keys,
Spelling out melodies
Sculpting music

I float away
My mind is completely immersed in the
Piano's voice
In those simple black specks
That I pass through my fingers
And turn into
Magic

Sometimes I sing
My voice contrasts with the piano's singing
But I don't care
To me, it's still music
And that's what matters

Music is
My way of casting spells
My way of forming something with power
Relaxing, enjoyable, yes
But so much more

Because when all else fails
When everything seems so challenging
Even then
I still have
Music

Rising up
Behind the sky
Very nearly
Passes by
Topped in brown
And lined in gold
Barely new
But barely old
Vivid purple
Darkest blue
A silent actor
Without a cue
Crowned in clouds
Of blue and white
Glowing with
A darkened light
Living, breathing
All alone
With seeds of power
It had sown
Seeds of might
That never grew
It sits alone
Without a clue
A shrunken mountain
A valley raised
A forgotten king
With untold days
Waiting, sleeping
By itself
Its long lost dreams
Upon a shelf
Lost its kingship
Lost its fame
Doesn't even
Have a name
That doesn't bother
The gentle hill
It bears no grudges
No ill will
Indigo, violet
It's content to be
A forgotten power
Forever free

The frozen sky is
Stretched tight
Enclosing us
Overwhelming us,
With its icy stare
A gray sheet
Dark, dark and cruel
Punishing, foreboding
Pelts us with frozen drops
Sinister, unjust

At least that's our perception

But what if
The sky
Is just a lonely, miserable
Frozen dream?
The dark trees scratch at it
Injuring it with their cruel claws
Setting it apart
Far apart
Leaving it alone,
Friendless
Who can say
That they're friends with the sky?

We curse the sky
The trees cruelly mock it
Make it cry gray tears
Tears of longing
Longing to be loved,
Longing to be accepted
Longing not to be
Set so far apart from us
Longing to be warm,
Not so cold and faraway
Like it is
All alone
Miles and miles from the closest friend

Who can say they love the sky?

Purple clouds
Hanging low
Casting shadows
On the snow
Footsteps ring
Starlight shimmers
Darkness sings
Silver glimmers
Not quite night
But not quite day
Not yet fright
But not okay
Frozen ice
Velvet sky
Scurrying mice
Snowflakes fly
Loudly silent
Quite confused
Pine trees bent
Skies amused
No one knows
What to believe
Nothing makes me
Want to leave
Utter midnight
Cold winds whine
Purple clouds
In silver lined

Twisting, winding, entwining
Thoughts spinning through my mind
Trying to connect themselves
Into something intelligible
Trying, and failing

Wisps of mind-like smoke
Climb in and out of my ears
Weaving my scrambled thoughts
Into something alive

An icy brook dances through my head
A spindly sculpture of glass
Atop a frozen hill
Fills my head,
Flooding my imagination
Tossing me from dream to dream
Then back again

Finally,
A dream, a full dream
Takes form in my restless mind
Creating silvery spindles of ice and snow
A confusing, snowy, wintery image
A warm snowy landscape
In my resting head
Frozen, but warm

Then suddenly,
The silver sun appears in my mind's swirled,
Ebony sky
Washing away the mental snow-like fragments
Of my imagination
Snow and ice and glass and snow
Melting, dancing, flying
Swimming down a fast-melting frozen hill
Into the dark expanse of dull awakeness