biker 23's blog

Every now and than
You come across a person,
A person you cannot forget,
A person you barely knew
But knew you they meant somthing.
As time goes by your glad
You met that person.
Your glad you can call them friend.
Your proud you can call them friend.
You know that person is always there,
Is always willing to help,
And can take whatever you throw at them.
If it wern't for these people,
I don't know where I would be today.

It seems I havn't laughed
Like I used to in a long time.
Sure, I have felt love,
I have felt like I'm compleat,
I have felt the toutch of a good girl
and had the taste of a great life,
But the laughter I was had
seems like it's going
to stay a memory.
Looking back now
it's like I have seen the world
but never left this small town.
I have seen all the things
that matter in the world,
I see love,
Freedom,
Laughter,
And best friends.
I hope thoes friends have seen the same.
I hope they hear the same old songs
That only seem to last a few minutes Read more »

And I hear the song,
And brings me back to that front porch,
That sandy river bank,
That wooden covered bridge.
It brings me back to a place
Of total freedom.
That old RV at four A.M
Listening to "Life Goes On",
That cold basement floor
We would sneak across to the back door
And go out all night.
I remember being caught in the storms,
Three miles from home as it pours buckets,
Soaking wet on my bike racing through the rain.
I remember her being the sweetest thing I could ask for,
I remember the sleepless nights of Facebook and phone calls, Read more »

You look in my eyes,
Just stare,
With your pretty blue eyes
I am so in love with,
Your red hair falling in your face,
Hands around me,
Holding me,
Making me feel alive.
You smile a little
And tell me you love me,
You write me notes,
Give me cards,
Tell me all the time.
Thoes three words
Come out of your mouth
Every day.
You know every time we toutch
And every time I hear thoes words
I fall all over again.
To bad you never meant it.

The door opens slowly
And the cold poors in,
Rushing down my throat
Up my nose
And into my loungs
As I take a deep breath in.
With every flake
The snow gets deeper,
With every flake
I feel a bit better.
I can feel the tears
Pushing to burst out
But I hold them back
Just for anothr second
In this perfect winter moment.
Finally
I can't hold it in any more,
I start to cry,
Close my eyes and they are all I see,
Her words of promise
Playing over and over in my head,
I fall face first onto the white ground
And just lie there,
Tears are freezing to my face, Read more »

The next day when the boy walked into the room there was one seat left. Right across from the girl he had locked eyes with the day before. He walked over, set his stuff down, and sat in the seat. Class had not started yet so everyone was just talking to friends, catching up after the long summer, just hanging out. The boy over heard her and another girl talking about motocross. "Do you race?" the boy asked the girl. As soon as the words came out of his mouth he got extreamly nervous. "No." the girl replied. "But I ride. Read more »

It was freshmin year when they met. Second day of school, about half way through french class. Filling out a sheet of paper with different questions on it that was suppose to help the students get to know one and other. As they were forced through answering the questions, one came along that no one could answer for the boy. He asked everyone but the red haired girl in the pink John Deer T shirt. He admired her already, being a fan of tractors himself. "Do you ride hourses?" he asked the girl. "Yes." she replied. There eyes cought and didn't let go. Read more »

I will never forget the moment when our eyes first met,
She gave a little smile
And so did I
But we both quickly turned away,
Felling a little embaressed.
I will never forget that moment,
When Everything seemed to click
And life made perfect sence,
When my past went away
And the future wasn't there
And it was just then,
The way he beautiful red hair
Fell into her face and she brushed it back,
And her pretty blue eyes looked into mine
And love is all they said.
I will never forget that moment
When love at first sight
Became reality,
And reality went away.

What happened to the endless times
Of summer and life?
The endless nights
Of not sleeping
And walking around
Anywere we could.
The lazy days
Of nothing.
We grew up,
We finished that chapter,
And I'm not sad,
But I'm not happy.
I have a chance to re-create myself,
But I also lost something that once
Meant the world to me.
It's a win/lose situation,
That always seems
To see its way through.

The days are getting shorter
And the nights are getting colder,
I no longer have to turn on the fan
And sleep all night with the windows up,
The lazy days of friends
And summer are at an end,
No more all night walk arounds,
Or late morning wake ups,
No more carelessnes
Or stupid stunts
Or prank calls
Or good friends.
Sure,
I will make new ones,
So will everybody,
But there is nothing I wouldn't do
To have the begining back.

Just take my hand
So we can live without worry,
We will walk without plans
And have a love story,
We can walk in the night
And go by the stars,
Out in the country
Where there aint no cars,
We can lye out in a field
And stare at the moon,
We can have a love
Like Jonny and June.

Friends come and go but family is forever. I think not.

I can literaly feel
The pain in my stomach,
The pain in my chest
Where my heart used to be
In one whole piece.
I don't know why
I am so stupid
To fall for the same fantisy
Over and over again.
I don't know how
I still have the courage
To get my hopes up
Because I know I am going to be brought down.
I don't know how I can still think
That my life is going to get better
And how I still think I am happy again.
I havn't been happy for a while.
Since the Hawaiian dance
When I had my first real heart break.
I have almost gotten back to normal
A few times
But other things bring me down.
I don't know if I make it worse
Than it accualy is
Or if it is all it's cracked up to be.
I just know one thing,
I'm depressed.
And gave been for a while.

I had a vision of the end
Where everything was in black and white
And we all moved in slow motion,
There was no noise,
Just the sound of the summer song
Playing in the background.
The sun came up
And lit up the picture,
We all looked around,
All five of us
Just stared at the others and relized it was over,
We all relized it was the end,
Our foolish couple months of summer
And swiming
And trouble
And relationships
And good times
Had changed into memories
In the blink of an eye,
We looked at each side
Of the old covered bridge,
Almost like we felt uncomfortable,
And walked up to the store
We had spent thousands of dollars at
In the last year
On soda
And food.
We all walked in and bought a can of soda
And what we wanted to eat,
We just sat silent under the tin roof of the bridge,
Not eating or drinking,
Then the leader of our group
(Me)
Stood up and said it wasn't over yet,
That we still had time for one last memory,
And ran to the river
And dove in Read more »

It is a terrable thing
Cancer,
But it is,
It happens,
To anyone,
It is will sound bad
And be hard to say
But we need to learn to accept it.
I know what I'm talking about to,
I'm not one of thoes people
Who just says stuff.
I have lost a lot it this last year,
A man who served in world war II
And lived to tell,
A man who built homes for thousands
And enjoyed doing it,
A man who adopted two kids
And raised them in the house he built
With his own two hands,
A man who at the age of 78
Spent all of his time
Filling in pot holes
And doing road work
By hand so others can enjoy a drive,
A man who never ripped a person off
In his whole 88 years on this earth.
A man who beat cancer
The night I was boarn
While the love of his life
Died of it in the next room.
He has been through hell
And seen the gates of heaven.
His son,
My dads best friend,
Used to be the life of the party.
The one you could call a the worst possible time
And do what ever you needed, Read more »

Am I anything?
Or am I just so somthing no one notices?
Either way
I'm not part of anything,
All of my "closest" friends
Have there group that eveyone knows,
The group where everything
Is always hearts and hugs
And the love word gets thrown around
Like a football.
Everyone makes plans
And goes out to the movies
And has names for the other person
That they only call them by.
It's not a bad thing
Just a thing I don't get
And don't want to.
I have a small group
Of normal outcasts,
We all come from different homes,
Different backgrounds.
We had our hang out,
A covered bridge
That was once an unknown thing,
Where you never had to figure out
Who was going to be there,
Where the days went by slow and no plans were made,
Just you and the river,
But now that group of hearts and hugs
Has takin our hang out,
Are they my friends?
I don't know,
I am accepted in there group
But I am never thought of,
I am always just there.
Do I care?
No, Read more »

Give me one reason,
One reason I shouldn't walk out the door
And never look back.
Give me one good reason
I shouldn't forget this place
And never think of you again.
Oh,
Whats that?
You say you love me?
Well I have heard that before
And been down that road,
That can't keep me here any longer,
You had a chance,
A chance of a life time
But you went the other way,
You thought you were better than me
And I was just going to be a fall back,
That you had my heart
And you were going to what you wish with it.
Well I'm gone babe,
All I see is the future,
And you aint in it.

Everything is back to normal, except the past and the future are as clear as the midnight is dark. (My saying)

It's funny how when we are little
Everyone is the same.
Everyone comes from the same thing,
The same home
Because they have never seen what others look like,
They just asume that everything
Is the same as theirs.
But once people grow up
They see whats really there,
And they see what they don't have
And others do,
And it is the same for everyone,
Some less than others
But everyone sees themselves as somthing different,
Everybody comes from somthing different
In the end,
And everybody feels a little bad about it,
Don't you just want to go back
To when we never felt bad
And eveyone was even?

Do I have nothing?
Or to much to think about?
Do I act like it isn't happening
And everything is going to be ok?
Or is nothing really happening
And I am making stuff up?
Because I have all the pieces
Of a bad mess,
But I act like I have the pieces
Of a golden puzzle and I am putting it together.
Do I laugh or cry?
Live or die?
Do I ignore this mess until it gets out of comtrol?
Or am I ignoring somthing that isn't there?
I can't tell.
But it's been working so far,
So why try nd fix what is going to happen no matter what?

I wish I could truly appoligize
For everything I have done,
I have caused so much pain
And I regret it all,
I was so careless
And stupid,
It was time of life
I don;t want to remember,
I was mad at myself
For ruining somthing great.

I wish you could know
Just how sorry I am,
For saying things
That were so out of line,
It wasn't hate
It was stupidity,
I brought it over the edge
And deserved what I got,
I lost my self respect
And have no self esteam.

I wish I could truly appoligize
For everything I have done,
I wish you could know
Just how sorry I am,
I know there is no appoligy
For what I said,
But I will do the best I can
To show that I mean it.

Time has dissapeared into the air,
It doesn't matter to me anymore,
When I worried about time
I worried about everything,
If I could finish
Or make it
Or do it,
But if you don't worry about time
It won't seem to go as fast,
If you live in the present
And not worry about the future
Somthing will come along,
Don't try and lead
And don't try to follow,
Just do what you want to do
And don't let others affect you,
Just try it sometime,
You will be suprised.

The mellow Bob Marley playing in the back,
While the fire smoldered out slowly
And the stars began to fade
As the horizon lit up.
I was the only on up at the time,
Just stairing at the heap of ash
That was once a giant glare for a crowd of people,
The others were passed out,
Fast asleap,
I just sat in the red fold up lawn chair,
Covered in ash
And dirt from the night before,
My hair was messed up
And my legs had dried blood from pricker bush scratches,
I was a mess.
But I thought how that was the last time
I might have fun with a lot of thoes people again,
And how it was already over,
The end was there
Before I relized the begining had left,
I sat and stared at the pile of ash
While the sun lit up the sky and the night dissapered into my memories
And the world came alive,
And said goodbye to all the people
And times we had together.

One person knocked his front tooth out
And put the other one in his lip,
Another crashed my four wheeler into a tree
And I had to bike across a field to get them,
A fire cracker blew up in my hand
And my hand swelled up,
One person got hit in the chest with a bottle rocket
And couldn't breath,
It started to rain
And we stood next to the fire in it.
Everything was a disaster,
But we had fun,
We drank soda and laughed
And told jokes
And swam
And just had fun.
It might have been a disaster
And I might have gotten in a lot of trouble,
But we all had fun
For one last time.

So tomorrow will start and end
Like everything,
But it doesn't matter how long it is
As long as you make the best of it,
If you just think of the past
Or the future
Your present will fly by
And you will miss everything,
I wish I was a little kid again,
When the days seemed to drag on,
But I always had fun,
Things were so simple,
Everything was new
So nothing was old
Or boaring,
I seem to be stuck in a rut right now,
Of doing the same thing all the time,
But I don't mind.
Life is going great,
It might be flying by
Or it might be draging on,
But I don't notice
Because I don't think,
And if you see life like I do,
You never have to be all grown up,
Just live and laugh and love.
You never have to stop being a kid.
I don't want anything special,
Just a car and a roof over my head,
I don't care what it will look like
And it is OK by me.
Some people will probably read this and think I'm stupid,
Well maybe to them,
But not to me.
They aint wright Read more »

I stood at the end
And stared down the empty hall,
It was late
And there was no one there,
The doors were all closed
And the rooms were dark,
I stood at the end
And thought how it was the end,
How I would never be there again,
And I began to walk,
Every step I took
I had a memory.
Where I got my first girl friend,
I was so young and stupid.
Where Devo found a green bagle in his locker
And threw it in mine.
I walked through the grades,
Big to small, Read more »

I keep telling myself
It isn't over
Until it's over,
But what am I going to do
Tomorrow when it is over?
What am I going to tell myself?
I have wated all year
To go on this trip
And be free for three days,
But I wish I had it back,
I wish I was still there,
In that crapy old house,
With the crapy food,
And over stressed chaperones.
It brought out the best in everyone,
Things happened that I thought
Where never going to happen again,
People who fought
Were the best of friends,
People who were friends,
Made more memories together,
I would give so much,
For just a little more time
As the kid I am until tomorrow.

Ya I know I said it before
And I was back thirty minutes later,
But it is real this time.
This year has brought so much crap,
And so many things have been said,
That I just don't want to deal with it anymore.
So I am going to forget all of this.
Which includes this site.
So I am going to leave.
And go live my life,
And make new memories.
Not keep these ones that bring me down.
If I am in a different state of mind
In a year or two,
I might write on this site again.
But not until then.
So thak you to all of the people that commented on my writing
And read it.
It gave me a place to show my other side.
It was fun to.
But I have to go now.
I don't really know how to end a goodye letter.
So here it goes.
Bye.

This is pointless,
The terrable remarks about one and other,
The terring of friendships,
I am just going to forget it,
Forget her,
Forget this school,
Forget this year,
And I think I am going to be fine,
She should do the same,
Forget me,
Everything about me,
My redneck ways,
My immature side,
And it will be OK,
No more friends being caught in the middle
Of us fighting,
So I am going to forget,
And never look back,
Leave this site
For good this time,
And never write on it again,
So I at least hope
This will stop the war
So I can just go on living.

Why be so serious
At such an early age?
Why try to act grown up,
And like you know things
Everyone else doesn't?
Because we shouldn't take life
So seriously
At such a young age,
And by no means
Are we grown up.
We think we know all these things
That other people don't,
But really,
We don't know that much,
We haven't lived long
And hard enough to see the things that happen,
We might know the things that happen,
But we havn't experianced it,
Or even seen it,
We ARE still kids,
No matter what you think,
So why try and act
Like we aren't?