Oct 30
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Deep inside my heart ( I long for this feeling )

I dreamt of a man dark and mysterious, his eyes glowed deep and ingrained in my brain. It put me in this coma of comfort like the mountains I surrender in. Why are you haunting my thoughts? Who allowed you in my head? I guess the feeling of welcoming you gave, let me keep you instead. I've never had this feeling- like I am missing you, the mystery of my dreams I look into you. I associate you with love and good feeling like you took me away from the bad I had reeling. I don't know you, but I feel like I do. It’s like a connection meant to happen but I was too scared to. When the world gives me good, and I feel so misplaced- the voice in my head shows me you are the way. The love I never had, a chance I may have missed, I want to think that maybe it’s you I kissed. The future will I cast your face? A text that I still sit and wait, and you afar and may not know, I am dreaming of you. It’s like a sick feeling when I toss and turn- and mid-dream you were smooth and calm.
Sep 11
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Lost sometimes


I guess the nights the most romantic when the moon casts its spell.
The time for me to flirt with you-
When my personality isn't hell. 
When I am clear headed and we were so high. Love can be made and you hold me, with dark skies.
The stars glow like our eyes in the light, 
Buried under blankets I feel more alive. 
The day has an aroma of roses and spring, and the pancakes in the morning mean more than one thing.  
But the day isn't as free in time. 
But I carry you always, day or night.
I guess I've been selfish, 
and need more acceptance
in patience, and in life. 
Dec 22
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A Love letter to Myself


A love letter to myself; 


It is all about our very own personal journeys. It is about the color of your hair and eyes and how unique and beautiful we all are.

It’s about learning, discovering who we are, traveling, and the roads we take literally and mentally.

I have learned a lot, in my journey of ups and downs. I’ve had to learn my experiences aren't who I am, they are just things I have encountered.

I have learned that environment- can be everything.

I've had a mix of good and bad environment, but I choose to only see good.

I choose my story to be all of the good, even when there is bad.

The person I stand today is beautiful, so I am very glad to be myself, even when I often still envy those who have a large loving family, I have to remember my own.

I was born with a big heart, probably my best part of myself.
Dec 08
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Pale


Pale



Pale ground, pale face,

Pale, heart, pale place.

Pale mind, through and through,

death of of a sort, have I met you?

Sickness leaking in my skin, nervous system closing in.

Cells divide, blood searching,

Pale skin, not working.

Pale body, and pale eyes, that lost all of the color when the girl cried-

Pale soul and pale skin

I think i just let death in.
Blue lips and tongue lies,

I touch the pale snow with bright eyes,

Unclear to my mind, the paleness of the world I can't cry.

Body shock in shimmering cold,

Body temp got too low

Pale girl, don't you see,

You went to far, and then met me.
 
Oct 18
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Warmth


I'm wearing a blanket that only covers my upper half.
I'm wearing open toed shoes I feel cold, I feel the air touching me.
You're arms around me makes me feel secure You're environment, you're home. I need you to help me stay warm When I am alone,
I do not know how to work the heater, so show me.

Can you light my fireplace and stay?

Can you bring your bed and blankets, and protect me all The way?

I tried to close all the windows but I was hoping you would blow in, And I'd feel some warm air.
Skin is not thick enough to keep in the heat When I am burning,
And the only thing I want Is to raid you only of your love Your touch And the security you give me.
Mar 23
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The piano


The piano






I watched the small body stretch just high enough to grab on the piano.

The melody, surprising-

Little fingers pressing the highest key, and going down the scales, and I knew,

He felt the music.
He kept touching random keys and screeching to the delight of his own creation.The music moved him.
I can’t wait to show my own, the piano.
Mar 13
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She-


Her skin felt like soft velvet, her eyes blessed to hold the world, the green and brown of the ground and the blue in her sky, she-

She was the cheater of the blue, the poisoned sea sick shrimp climbing out of an oyster shell,

 She, was the sun.

Her warmth took you to the fireplace and the bed and man's best friend,

But she burned like hell.

Her toes twisted with yours until you realize her roots too strong she will grow around you and age, twisting, full of oxygen.

Voice loud enough to heal and hurt, she hides the power she has.
So let her be wild and free like the winds gliding across the mountains, whispering into your bedroom at night.

For she is a woman, and that shall not be fought against, for she Is it all.
Sep 22
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with care


It's like I possess bodies.
But I just want their hearts.
I steal their eyes to see the sky,
Slowly taking parts.
I gave a range of values, showed them light and dark.
But would even myself know, they are hard to see apart.

I wanted them to slowly see, the world's expression showing me.
thoughts in the rain,
body like snow,
Rivers as beautiful as crimson blood flow.

I give out all my knowledge and try to set them free,
And eventually that means for them, to end up leaving me
Sep 14
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Birth;


The soft hold and flimsy damp body, held in the very crease of my own arms. 
Child,
oh so small and gently breathing. 
I stand astounded, in the grace of this small human.
the weight of a few mere ounces, as I hold the minor head in the warmth of the calm shower water.
Peaceful, mother beauty. 
Bare, beautiful baby.
Birth.
Sep 14
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Catch + Release

Was there good?
Have I been wrong?
How the hell did I even hold on?
did you care, and was it real?
do you even know how i actually feel.

Do you care?
Are you ok?
I miss you really really bad now youre away. 
this is no fun, and nows its done,
i just wish the best for you, and ones you love. 

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