juliar's blog

I have a writing enrichment. We go on to this site and write. But people in my class are using the chat messaging to talk to their friends instead of writing. They also talk to random people and try to say funny things. It really bothers me because it's not fair for them to abuse a system that's meant for the benefit of us. I don't know if anyone else feels this way But I sure do. I like getting feedback on my writing but it really makes me upset when people just use chat to literally chat with there friends about things that don't even have to do with writing.

The ink ran out in my pen

All the water left the stem

Some things never regrow

Like perfect snow

Like beautiful sunsets 

I don't know were they go

They kind of just float away into the air

Somewhere way up there

And they never come back

Sometimes I wish on starts when the sky is black

For the most precious moments to come back

But all my wishing gets me nowhere,

Like perfect rain

That leaves the world stained

And perfect nights

were starts act as lights

i wish for all beautiful to stay

But once I wake today 

I realize it's all gone today.

I tilted my head to see the view in a different perspective

All the loose mountains and ponds starting to looked connected

Green and blue

The distant smell of mildew

I could see the clouds passing respectively overhead

Dark weary and the color of black lead 

Dangerously quiet, 

The mosquitos buzzing around my head

looking to be fed 

And the camouflage ducks

Swimming in the algae muck 

When I look hard enough

I can see things differently

Things normal people don't have the time to see

I just tilt my head

And look straight ahead

And somehow I see 

beauty.

You subscribed to my feelings

Just about as fast as I subscribed to your ignorance

The way you didn't even notice my glass eyes shattering

The dark blue color spattering

The way you didn't come when I was hurt

Instead you left me in your shadowing dirt

Like all those times I needed you 

When you promised that you needed me to

How you blew me away with what I thought was true,

But the one thing you did do

Is show me that I never really needed you

How I never needed your ignorance

Your faulty planned mistakes

I never needed any of this

And you never needed me

Even though you promised you always would.

I think the one thing that interest me the most about people is their voice

How they sound,

Some soft and quiet, and others hard and loud

I like listening to all the different voices

How they sound when they rejoice

It's kind of fun

To listen to their scratchy hums

The variety of voices to me is cool

I know I might sound like a fool

But the way some voices some voices get high the low

The way some do and don't flow

Is sorta interesting to listen to every ones unique sound 

What they sound like when there proud

All voices in the world

Different and special

The way each one sounds

Precious and soothing

Something taken for granite that's not worth loosing.

For me vacation isn't time to relax

It's a time to see new places and over pack

To have fun

And go somewhere with constant sun

I'm not a big fan of the beach

But maybe an amusement park were I can let loose and screech

Or a tropical cruise

A vacation that I can choose

Something hot yet cool

Somewhere with a big pool

Maybe Florida 

Or the south of Georgia

The perfect vacation

With no complications

Just me and my family

Having fun

Wishing for the vacation to never be done.

I don't have any deep dark secrets

Even if I did would you be able to keep it

I'm not shallow enough

To regret, stuff

My eyes will try to deceive you

Some say they almost relieve you

Clueless is lost

And the burden of it all seems scratchy

Listen closely now for I am patchy

I am not weak enough

To tell contagious bluffs

And yet I'm wise enough to know

Don't line your eggs in a row

Wise enough to hear 

Fortifying fear 

And as my eyes start to deceive

You'll see me slowly start to leave

For I am not dumb enough to stay

When all my eyes will do is lyingly betray.

I guess I was scared 

Rather then hurt

I was red and itchy

My eye was twitchy

And my stomach was in knots

I didn't want that awful shot

I must have touched something that was peanuts

Or maybe a treenut

But now I'm at home

Hands shaking 

I feel fine like I want to throw up

Taking Benadryl from a small cup

I know I'm safe 

But still feel unsafe

What if it happens again

It started at school with my friends 

It only took 2 minutes

Before my face was bright red

I really hope I don't get this itchy feeling again.

I really want to cry right now

All because that one foolish boy

Who treats me like some useless toy

I know he thinks he's popular and all that

But he clearly needs a rain check stat

I'm a person to

My eyes might not be blue

But your no better than me

And here are some glasses if you need help to see

You don't rule the world

I thought this was something you were told 

You don't get to treat me differently

So I'm sorry if your hurt

But at least now you know what it feels like in then dirt.

Something is blocking me 

It's something I can't see

I can't say I'm scared

But confused is fair

I don't think it's a wall

And I'm pretty sure it's not very tall

But there is something there

I can tell from my sticking up hair

Maybe it's myself?

No, that can't be

Maybe an invisible tree

Blocking me

But I can feel it there

Watching me with delicate care

It's stubbornly blocking me 

But it's something that everybody but me can see.

It was pop

It was cool

Flowing from lyrics

Orchestrated by a great lyricist

Modern

Yet suttle

The title was named "Trouble"

So catchy 

Each vibrant word even more flashy

The serenading music

I have to listen to it again before I loose it!

Something insecure

Something pure

Something is what I want

Something to hold

That's shiny like gold

A borrowed something

Or maybe even a lost something

Something to be shared

Something that needs care

All I want is something.

My ponytail tucked tightly against my head

Only one loose thread

It's kind of brownish red

Stringy, and stale

But goes perfectly with my skin tone, pale

Then theirs my legs

Tall unbalanced pegs

My nails arent that great

Just clear slates

And I know I must sound like a torn up rag doll

But someone has to take the fall

My belt looped tightly around my waist

Now all that's left to judge is my dark freckled face.

If you want to be like me

Just look in the mirror and you'll see

The key 

To being me

Is being you

You don't have to copy my every move

Being you is great

You can't take my fate

You have to find yours

So go look in the mirror

You'll find some one perfect

Some one named you

That holds your very own personalized fate.

They would be:

To not get in fights with my friend or family

To not have a peanut allergy

And to be a famous writer.

My terrifyingly  terrified brain 

Is leaving an imperfect stain

In my fragile

Yet quite agile

System

My burning blood clear as crystal

And my hair flowing widly blissful

I turn endlessly tired

My terrified brain feeling hot wired

I sit quietly silent

Reserved and private

Terrified

Practically petrified

Of my brain

That's leaving a very imperfect stain.

I told her I was right

Now it's turning into a fight

She keeps  saying that I'm wrong

This has been going on for so long

I know I'm right

So why is this a big fight

But finally I prove to her 

That I was right! and this long battle finally concur.

My tounge dyed blue

In my favorite summer shoes

Sitting by the lake

Swinging 

On the swing

Just doing my summer thing.

Fairy tale 101

Now this should be fun

You'll learn what you need to know

Before you go

#1 don't go into the woods.

#2 always bring granny  the goods

#3 don't loose your shoe

#4 or else the wicked prince will choose you

#5 And do not sit on walls 

#6 because you will fall

Now you have finished your lesson

Take my blessing

Don't do these things

I wonder if they hear me sitting here all alone

Do they the thousands of txt on the phones

I hope so

But I'm afraid the true answer is no

I can't tell if there yelling for me

Or if they think I'm hiding in the old oak tree

But I'm not there

If they even have enough energy to care

I'm just sitting here all alone

No service on my phone 

I  wonder if they can hear me

Come to think of it can you even hear me?

Do you ever just want to cry

Just lay on the floor and die

I do...

Do you ever feel left behind 

Like all you can do is cover up your hurt  by saying "I'm Fine"

Becasue I do...

I know  I'm not  the only one 

Who's left out of all the fun

So if  you ever felt any of these things

Know that you will find a place to spread your wings.

When you were born

Something was torn

A peice of your parents heart

Raced away like a speedy go-kart

It came to you

And follows you, in everything  you do

This peice of heart can never be torn apart

From your now complete heart

The day you were born

Something delicate was torn

Something great ment juist for you.

No one should have to be scared to go to sleep at night

No one should have to be scared of what "might".

Earth is democracy we all share

And I know the truth is that this life is not fair

But I like to believe

That theres no such thing as grieve

That death doesn't exist

That I'm not truly living a life like this...

But the funny part is I don't believe myself

In my dreams

Earth is clean

And everything I see is golden

But then I wake up to an earthquake and realize all my dreams are broken...

I try to relate to people

Whom I'm not even related to

Try feel their pain

Even if I never do know there real name

Usually I can

I just mesh the emotions in my hand 

Although I've never felt these feelings

Somehow I know how they feel, 

I try to feel what others feel

Even though I'll never know what there feeling...

I'm not even sure what to say right now...

I feel kind of like a misplaced clown

I kind of alone and forgotten

Moldy and rotten

I don't truthfully know what to say 

To make things feel ok

But I do know that I'm Feeling confused

My heart is beaten and bruised

I know that I don't have it as bad as others

I have a family a brother, a mother

But I can still feel boxed in

Like I'll never ever win

...and I'm still not completely sure what to say still

But I guess saying that I'm actually scared is a start.

The diamond sand fills my nostrils

If someone doesn't pull me out soon I'll surely  turn into a fossil

My eyes sting

And my frantic thoughts sing

I was just taking a morning run

Feeling the breeze and eating the sun

But somehow I tripped 

And ended up like this 

Upside down

Being starred at by the whole town

I'm suffocating in this black hole of death

Panting for a morsel of breath

I can now feel something grabbing me

I hope it's not a crab

But when I bat my eyes 

I realize

That I am out of the hole

Good thing because I think I saw a mole

glad to be out I run once again

This time more cautiously  because I don't want to trip again

...But once again

I tripped on a rock...uh oh here we go again.

My power is unstoppable

And my grip to tight for you to slip

For I am the all powerful

The greatest 

Of them all
Even if I come off as small

My mind is more complexed

Then the ancient bones of a t-Rex

Because of my power

I tower

Grabbing the souls

Of the ones who are cold

Thee 

all powerful me

Unstoppable 

I might seem.

All around the globe

There is hope

Fragile people 

With delicate lives...

All around the globe

People search for something new

Something interesting that appeals  to me and you

And all around the globe 

Children live for wonder

As each year they change by a number 

All around the globe

There are people who want to feel safe

In such an unsafe 

Place.

I know that I'm not perfect

And maybe that's half the problem

But I don't know how or what to do

Not everyone can like me

And that i know 

But it's hard to watch people leave you

Just because there jealous 

It's hard to let go

But I did

And now I'm awfully proud

Even though my perfection

Isn't perfect

I know that it's there 

And I know there jealousy isn't fair

But what is in life...?

Somewere in her deceiving smile I know

She loves me enough to let go

Although she shows off friendly

I like to believe that's an act

I don't think she knows I'm looking

Or listening to her eyes

But I can tell that she hates me 

From the way she burns a hole through my spine

I haven't hurt her 

I don't know what I did...

but somehow she hates me

And she is tearing right through me 

And I don't know what I did

To make her be like this

We did used to be friends 

But I'm guessing it's the end.