What I realised after that day was that I didn't love him. Yes he is amazing and yes I know that we would work if we tried but I am just not there yet. Sure I have thought about him being there in the future, but something is always missing. There is a link that just isn't there. Yes he is amazing, exactly what everyone would say I want. But I mean, no. I can't just keep pretending that there is a real chance. That will only kill me, and him. Yes I am aware that what I am saying makes no sense, if he is perfect then what is the problem. That's just it even his bad habits aren't anything that would stop you. They just make him funny and weird and honestly they make him all that much better. Blagh, I don't even know what is happening. Or what I am saying because this doesn't make sense. None of this makes sense, why I feel like this because ... I can't stop thinking about it, him, everything. Whenever I close my eyes to sleep, I see his smile.
As I stand here watching the horizon, Her silhouette outlined in the waves, My heart pounding with every spoken word, The sunset appears red with fury, I wonder what it would be like if we left, If we ran away somewhere new, Started a new life together, Just me and her, her and me, The waves crashing against the shore, Her weeping soflty against my shoulder, Our lives slowly being ripped apart, The cracks gradually getting bigger, Our love growing deeper, Crashing down on us, The clock hits 12, Our tale comes to a standstill, But our love and hope will never end
STAR I come from the stars. No, really, I do. I remember what it was like up there, shining so brightly along with all the other stars. We were family. Then, one day, my star fell. At least that is what I think happened. That is what it felt like… I woke up one day, just a small child lying beneath a tree. I was found by a policeman, and was soon adopted by an elderly couple. At first, I thought that everyone had once been stars, just like me. I soon realized that this was not the case. As far as I knew, I was the only Starman on earth.
remember 1. that even when you don't recognize the person in the mirror, they have your mom's eyes and they look a little bit like your little brother. their heart beats with yours. their fingernails are purple too.
2. that although you don't feel like you belong to anything or anybody, someone is thinking of you and someone is missing you. he loves you, believe him when he tells you.
3. when you don't feel pretty or thin or any of those fucked up adjectives, remember that you bleed and that you are full of blood and plasma and smooth muscle, among other things. you are alive and you are full inside. you know this for sure.
4. that just because you look like a real person and not the barbies on the internet does not mean that you are imperfect. believe me.
5. to breathe. you gotta do that sometimes.
6. to always write. somehow writing helps you to find yourself.
1. i'm feeling better because it hurts you when i'm not. 2. i feel okay because i know that if i say that and i don't mean it, you won't believe me. 3. i'm feeling semi-normal again because you made me laugh - and i didn't even have to make myself find something funny. 4. i miss you when you're not here, and when i'm feeling sad, i don't want you to have to be around me. 5. i might throw something if i admit to myself that i'm not feeling better at all, and so instead, i'm writing this.
They say that whatever comes up Must come down But what about things that fall?
Is there some unwritten rule about When they can come back up again? When they can float higher Chugging their way back up To their former vantage point Like a tiny carnival balloon Lifted by its helium engine.
But when that balloon's engine stalls It doesn't stay still in the air It tumbles backwards, downwards Falling ever so slowly But undoubtedly earthbound.
And things that fall tend to keep falling So that balloon won't rise again Sometimes it feels like I won't either. Maybe this is why this cavern of loneliness Never seems to end. Sometimes I doubt I'll ever Find its bottom.
A past memory the tedious grind is done now I can move on.
I sit profusely sweating waiting for my name to be called so I can be freed from this monotonous existence Surrounded by my peers placid faces I don’t recognize all wearing the same expression all wearing the same robes creating a bland sense of unity. people stare down at us, strangers surrounding the claustrophobic space maniacal monkeys clap in excitement waiting for the show to start sweat pours down wrinkly faces dripping into squinty eyeballs. The class speaker is ranting on the stage as I zone out, falling down through the cracks in my mind occasionally several phrases slip in after me. none of his words make any sense or have anything to do with me something about believing in the future or maybe living in the moment stuff about changing the world something like that
It's dark and cold. Like the deepest emotion emitting from your lifeless body The roaring waves crash on the forbidden horizon, with every beat and drum like the endless sound of thunder Light can't reach the bottom as it pierces through watery graves.
The sun sinks down into the deep...and slowly slips into a dark slumber. Out of all the things the sea finds floating in the water, She hears screams that echo through the blasting night.
They tried to hide her... They tried to seduce her... They tried to own her... They wanted to drown her...
The boat was full of despair and lust for this girl. But they knew she was everything they could never have. The brick was tightly attached to her delicate ankle as the noose was pulling her down. Her wrists swelled at the itchy rope digging in her pale skin. Her blushed cheeks puffy with tears and abuse.