You do an amazing job of bringing us along on your walk in the woods! I could really feel myself becoming absorbed in the forest -- the sound of the leaves and twigs, the sunlight peeking through, the darkening in the middle. Comparing the woods to a person also works well. Great work!
Well said. In broad strokes, we are "selfish, arrogant animals," hating each other and the Earth. There is real anger and wisdom in your writing. I guess you'd agree with Erich Fromm that humans are the freaks of the universe.
This is a fine, thought-provoking piece! I've read it a few times, and I get more out of it each time. It's very sad and very brave. I love the way you end. Despite the terror and destruction, life does and has to go on, doesn't it -- "the mall, maybe go to a concert." But really sleep is the only escape. Wow.
Oh, the regrets and the squirming! And the reaction -- "You looked at me like, like I was an animal." You describe this sticky, difficult situation so well! Your writing is clear and honest. I really liked this! It's scheduled to run in the Times Argus on Tuesday, May 21.
You do a great job describing the fixes we all get in -- "saying yes when you mean no, saying black when you mean white" -- and showing how confused and confusing it can be. In a few short lines, you made the most of this prompt. Well done! Watch for your piece in the Times Argus on Tuesday, May 21.
I really liked this, especially those last two lines, playing with the word "count", very well done! There were a few other places that made me smile to myself, like "Can be a fond acquaintance / or a chokehold". I love the brilliance and amusement of these lines you weave in and out of the piece. And the "tick tick tick"s really leave the impression of the moving clock. Great job! :)
Thank you so much I was trying to get at the fact that when you tell a lie it trys to eat you alive, you regret it so much but at the same time can't stop it. I can't wait to see it in the paper.
I've thought about breaking things up into different paragraphs, but my computer does something weird with the spacing. I'll consider the other suggestions though.
This was a great short description of your trip. Your details were vivid, and I liked the contrast between the "brightly colored sunlit world" and "a chilly Nor'easter blizzard" toward the end. I suggest dividing this piece into three or more paragraphs to organize it for the reader-- for example, have one on arriving and the tourist sites, another on the market, a third returning to the airport.
Your descriptions were so specific, it was out of place to read something so vague as "one of the more interesting experiences I've had". I suggest replacing that sentence with a transition that has more of what you felt about Belize, or a description of the food.
In all, I really liked this piece, and your descriptions drew me in and sketched a vibrant picture of Belize.
i HATE roller coaster i was afraid tht would happens but it didnt haha i would have died if we got stuck.
i HATE roller coaster i was afraid tht would happens but it didnt haha i would have died if we got stuck.
The little white lie that becomes "big and red!" I love it! This is clever and funny and wise. Thanks for sharing it with us.
It's scheduled to run in the Burlington Free Press Hometown section on Sat. May 25.
You do an amazing job of bringing us along on your walk in the woods! I could really feel myself becoming absorbed in the forest -- the sound of the leaves and twigs, the sunlight peeking through, the darkening in the middle. Comparing the woods to a person also works well. Great work!
Well said. In broad strokes, we are "selfish, arrogant animals," hating each other and the Earth. There is real anger and wisdom in your writing. I guess you'd agree with Erich Fromm that humans are the freaks of the universe.
This is a fine, thought-provoking piece! I've read it a few times, and I get more out of it each time. It's very sad and very brave. I love the way you end. Despite the terror and destruction, life does and has to go on, doesn't it -- "the mall, maybe go to a concert." But really sleep is the only escape. Wow.
Oh, the regrets and the squirming! And the reaction -- "You looked at me like, like I was an animal." You describe this sticky, difficult situation so well! Your writing is clear and honest. I really liked this! It's scheduled to run in the Times Argus on Tuesday, May 21.
You do a great job describing the fixes we all get in -- "saying yes when you mean no, saying black when you mean white" -- and showing how confused and confusing it can be. In a few short lines, you made the most of this prompt. Well done! Watch for your piece in the Times Argus on Tuesday, May 21.
Hi Susan,
Thank you! Thank you for your comments and encouragement. I appreciate it.
Thank you! I appreciate that you took the time to read it. I will get the paper next week!
I really liked this, especially those last two lines, playing with the word "count", very well done! There were a few other places that made me smile to myself, like "Can be a fond acquaintance / or a chokehold". I love the brilliance and amusement of these lines you weave in and out of the piece. And the "tick tick tick"s really leave the impression of the moving clock. Great job! :)
Thank you so much I was trying to get at the fact that when you tell a lie it trys to eat you alive, you regret it so much but at the same time can't stop it. I can't wait to see it in the paper.
I like the last line "my thoughts washing over me like a black wave." Can't wait to find out exactly what your character is thinking about.
I can't even take people seriously when they type like that.
I've thought about breaking things up into different paragraphs, but my computer does something weird with the spacing. I'll consider the other suggestions though.
Thank you! I appreciate you taking time to read my writing I'm glad you enjoyed it! I will look in the reformer on the 25th :)
Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read this. I'm happy that you enjoyed this piece. I will look in the paper on the 25th :)
This was a great short description of your trip. Your details were vivid, and I liked the contrast between the "brightly colored sunlit world" and "a chilly Nor'easter blizzard" toward the end. I suggest dividing this piece into three or more paragraphs to organize it for the reader-- for example, have one on arriving and the tourist sites, another on the market, a third returning to the airport.
Your descriptions were so specific, it was out of place to read something so vague as "one of the more interesting experiences I've had". I suggest replacing that sentence with a transition that has more of what you felt about Belize, or a description of the food.
In all, I really liked this piece, and your descriptions drew me in and sketched a vibrant picture of Belize.
Ahhh! This is amazing!
Ahhh! This is amazing!
This is beautiful
Every composition from you that I read make me have to sit back and take a big breath to be able to swallow the beauty in it.
Every composition from you that I read make me have to sit back and take a big breath to be able to swallow the beauty in it.
srsly itz so ann0ying
(this was a cool idea for a 6-word)
thank you so much