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The City

kylielowfive's picture
Submitted by kylielowfive on Fri, 03/14/2008 - 3:00pm

I, myself, have been to the crystal city on the water.
I have stood on the glass balcony which reflected back below.
I have traveled endless miles into the sky which this place sits,
Where the shows are the thunderclouds far down where we row,
Above the clouds where storms cease to exist.

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ggevalt's picture

Wonderful images...

Submitted by ggevalt on Mon, 03/17/2008 - 3:21pm.

I like the images of this and I like the way you repeat the first part of each sentence.

I'd encourage you to do several things.... I would take out "myself" in the first line.... AND, I would keep on writing. See where it takes you.

And with that idea, I can say, "Great start, S.C."

cheers
gg