Due this week

5. Haunted. Have you ever been in a house where things go bump in the night? Do you believe that some buildings or places are haunted? Is there one in your town? Tell us a story about it. Make it believable.
Alternate: Lockers. What one thing do you wish no one to know about in your locker? Or what is the most important thing in your locker? Deadline: Friday Oct. 17.

To submit to Newspaper Series

  • Log in. (Click "Not a YWP member?" to create an account.)

  • Click "create content" and create an ENTRY
  • Fill out "title," "author name, school & grade" and "prompt" boxes.
  • Paste story into "body."
  • Click "Submit." You are done.
    NOTES: Your account email must be accurate; a "blog" entry must be resubmitted as an ENTRY to be considered.

One knee

S.Finley's picture
Submitted by S.Finley on March 27, 2008 - 10:20.

Under a red sky,
He gets on one knee to ask,
Tears, and loving hugs.

S.Finley's picture

Cool

Submitted by S.Finley on March 27, 2008 - 10:20.

Sweet

slunden's picture

UVM Mentor Comment

Submitted by slunden on March 30, 2008 - 18:09.

Hi Sam,

I like your poem...though I'm not really sure why, since I'm not really sure what it's about. There is something very appealing about your haiku, and haikus in general: they are simple and mysterious, perfect for conveying one scene that is laden with meaning. That's the vibe that I'm getting from "One Knee" - from the title and second line, I'm assuming that you are describing a marriage proposal. This assumption is complicated, however, by the red sky - which I associate with doom - and the tears. If you're going the marriage proposal route, I might change "red" to "pink": the tears would then seem more joyful.

It's definitely fun working with so few words and lines, for then everything impacts everything else so much more. If you're going for an image / idea besides marriage in this poem, I'd recommend changing things up a bit; if not, you've created a beautiful scene.

Suzanne

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