So Many Dead Letters

Hi Eloise,

This poem vividly reminds me of a poem that I wrote when I was a sophomore in high school too. I'm not sure if you're intentions are the same as mine were, but I remember the feeling of being totally bound to the expectations of everyone else other than myself. It turned out that I eventually wanted the same things for myself as what others expected of me, but part of me wonders how much I was influenced by others and how much of that was my own changes and growth. I think your poem captures this feeling well and uses a lot of strong emotions and language to get your feeling across. You do a good job of promoting a certain feeling to arise within the reader.

Something you leave me wondering about is the title of your poem and the first few lines. I'm not sure what you mean by "so many dead letters". Are they actual letters you've written to someone, or do you mean just letters like a..b..c..etc.? I think it might be easier for the reader to understand if you provided some kind of a clearer transition from your first four lines to the rest of them.

Also, since you do use such strong language (i.e. Unlock these chains,
Unlock these manacles,
Unlock this collar.), it might be useful for you to back it up with images to allow the reader to feel more involved in the poem. Chains and manacles immediately draw up images of someone in prison or locked away for good... is this what you were going for? Even if it was, you might want to add some personal stories into the poem to make it more relateable to your readers.

Thanks for submitting, and keep writing!

Kate Maciejowski

UVM Mentor