legit excuse

I have liked your work on this site. Simple, spare style. Thoughtful. Filled with voice.

I thought I'd comment on this one because I realized I hadn't commented on much that you've written. I do find commenting on short poetry one of the most difficult things to do. I am someone whose background has been almost entirely prose -- non-fiction mostly and fiction.

So I liked this because it was about a moment -- not sure how long a moment -- but it was a specific time. I liked the rhythm. I liked the idea.

One thought: Do you need the word "for"?
I don't think you do.
I'd drop it and put "thinking..." on a new line.

Now, one other thought: I had a feeling with this and some of the other things you wrote is that they were beginnings, that you could turn these snippets into longer pieces, more narrative. For instance, who is she? Where is she? Why is she without music and talking and is just thinking? What is happening? What are her emotions? What is she thinking about? What is the tension, the reason she is silent? How will it be resolved?

In a way I'm pushing you, nudging you to make it something more...

Anyway, thanks for sharing your words.

cheers
gg

i think you're right about the "for"; i'm going to take it out.
several other people have commented that I have a lot of beginnings, too. I guess I write down ideas in short poems and then later I need to go back to them.
But I'm not really sure how to keep going with some of them, this one included. Maybe I'll come back to it.
anyway,
thanks for the comments and advice, it's really helpful. :]