So Eden sank to grief, so dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.

I'm sorry about everything that
happened
even though most of it wasn't my business.
I'm sorry everyone's leaving
and I'm sorry this
can't say all that I want to say
and I'm sorry I'm not good enough.
I'm trying,
I really am,
to understand why we're all feeling like this.
I'm crying,
and I know it's hard,
and I feel like I'm breaking up with
somebody
but
this is how it has to go.
Nothing that's going to come out here
is going to be meaningful
or matter
but I'm going to
try.
When I joined it seemed like a loving
community
in place
something
somewhere where I could just jump in and get lost
and have to be found.
I don't even know half of what happened
but it ruined
everything.
I thought I had found a place
where I could be
that I could trust
where I belonged that wouldn't
push me away.
Everything is gone now
everything that matters.
So I'm just going to disappear
now
until we're okay again
and until my teacher tells us to post something on
here
with the accounts that
we made.
And I'll come back
and read everything again
and I'll remember how close I thought I had come
to acceptance.