The Author (1)

I began this recently as a short story, inspired by a Stephen King short story I read a day or two ago. I'm thinking now that it'll be longer than a short story because I have so many ideas, but ideas are always expendable, plus I could always make some of the less-connected-in-my-mind ideas into another story, or possibly a sequel to this one. This chapter is a bit shorter than I'd like it to be, hopefully sequential installments will be longer. So, anyways, I hope you enjoy it.
It began like any other day for Barry Patterson.
He woke up and tumbled, quite ungracefully, out of his bed. He had a bad hangover as usual, and was hit by the throbbing pain in his head almost instantly upon awakening. He walked over to the small kitchen-area of his apartment and got a glass from a cupboard in the corner of his kitchen, filling it up with water from the sink. Moving over to another cabinet, he retrieved his jumbo bottle of Advil. He popped the top off and poured four into his hand. He knew that that was twice the recommended dosage, but he didn’t really care. This headache hurt like a bitch, and he didn’t exactly feel like waiting for it to calm down.
He thought hard about why he’d been drinking so much the night before. Various empty bottles of alcohol lay scattered across the floor, and he knew that even though he drank often, he didn’t drink that much. It then snapped into place: He’d had a date the previous night.
He’d gone out with some girl a friend of his had hooked him up with. He hated it when his friends tried to interfere with his social life, although at least it gave him something to do. Going to the restaurant with low expectations, he was somewhat stunned by how extremely casual the whole thing turned out to be, as if he had just been having a typical conversation with a person who’d been a friend for his entire life. This bothered him a great deal, and spent most of the time during the date also thinking and worrying about how he must have screwed something up, and other small details that of course hadn’t mattered to her, but he didn’t know that, and it went on and on through his head.
When he had arrived home he started drinking in an attempt to wash away his worries and paranoia, and now here he was, awake with a throbbing headache, he wanted more water, and he couldn’t even remember her name.
After getting his drink, he sat down and began to rummage through his pockets. He vaguely remembered the girl giving him a slip of paper with her name and address on it…ah, here it was. “Eileen Murray”, the card read. “Apt. 87A, Leland St. Jamaica Plain Boston, Massachusetts ”. He grinned, half-remembering a conversation from the previous night about how odd it would be if someone suddenly forgot the city, let alone the state that they lived in.
Since he was off work from Fran’s Auto Repair that day, he decided he’d go pay her a visit. He walked out of the door on his house on East 4th Street, putting on his sunglasses to offset his light-sensitive eyes, and looked up at the sky. He withdrew a cigarette from the box in his pocket, and held it up to his lighter. The end caught alight, and began to produce an upward-spiraling smoke. He took a long drag from it, and then threw it on the cigarette-butt littered ground in front of his apartment, crushing it underfoot as he began to walk away from his house.
He knew all the smoking and drinking he did was detrimental to his health, as his doctors had seemingly enjoyed to remind him at every appointment he had, but had reached a point where he didn’t care too much anymore. He sighed, and quickened his walk to the “T” station on Broadway.
It was the last time he'd see his home for ten long years.
- Professor_Zoom's blog
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this is good. one comment:
this is good. one comment: in the first [long] paragraph it says he ignored his throbbing headache for the time being but he really has his headache in mind while getting the glass of water to swallow the Advil which are for his headache, so he never actually ignores his headache...
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Last night in my bed, I stared up at the stars in the sky and thought, "WHERE THE HELL IS THE CEILING?!"
hahaa i love that quote...
oh yeah...I totally didn't
oh yeah...I totally didn't notice that. Wow. thanks for pointing that out.
there. changed.
This is awesome.
This is awesome. Please post more soon.
I love the ending. Do you
I love the ending.
Do you know how this will end, or are you making it up as you go?
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"I think you can let go of my arm now." -M
"And your waist?" -C
"If you don't mind." -M
* * *
Sorry, that was taken WAAY out of context. It's from a short story I like.
I know how it'll end. I've
I know how it'll end.
I've got pretty much the whole story planned out in my head.
Nice. It's great when
Nice. It's great when stories just happen like that.
I'm currently writing a short story that spans five years already, and I still have no idea how to end it. lol
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"It's either broken or it's French."
Melon-collie. Ha. Ha.
*sigh* You guys are so lucky that you can do that...
By the way, is this the [in]famous story I hear about that has the tense changing? I'm seeing that...
/gradster(1)/
You are? Could you point it
You are? Could you point it out so I could fix it? I'm trying to make it all past tense, if that was unclear.
Do what, exactly? Write
Do what, exactly? Write short stories?
I never used to be able to, but I've been getting into them more.
Most of mine are on my blog.
Melon-collie is definitely Quote Wall-worthy...
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"It's either broken or it's French."
Nope.
Nope. And Zoom, there was one present-tense typo, but it appears that you've fixed it.
Ah...I think I see what
Ah...I think I see what happened. I noticed and fixed the typo around the same time it was noticed by gradster, it seems. Hence the confusion about the matter.
I like your character. I
I like your character. I like where this is going and all. My one... issue you might call it, is that the description of the cigarette seems a tiny bit awkward. I might just be tired, but you should read that again just to check.
I look forward to more.
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The world doesn't speak to me like my own brain.
I realized that as I was
I realized that as I was writing it. I really couldn't come up with any sort of alternative, and still can't, so I think it'll stay as is, unless I have some sort of epiphany before I forget about it.
I like the character too. I seem to have a penchant for making important characters Irish, if you remember "Ethan Murphy" from "The Doll".
Damn. That's awesome. Your
Damn. That's awesome.
Your character is also quite a BAMF. May I suggest Martin Cruz Smith as required reading? His main character of most of his books, Detective Arkady Renko, shares some similarities with yours.
Can't wait to see where this goes.
-Geist
Thanks. OK. I'll look him up
Thanks.
OK. I'll look him up later at my library.