Oldest, Youngest, They Share A Journey

You always get off
On things I could never
Just grounded?
I would’ve been forced
To stand in a corner
For a few hours
Then slave over homework
All week     Always complaining
On what you didn’t have
The rules set for all
Now I’m the exception
Well, let me tell you
Being the youngest
Is not all flowers and rainbows
Decisions you make on an everyday basis
Rock my world
“Be a good example”
Are the words I abhor
Carelessly spilling out of their mouths
Like acid on my flesh
Do you know the weight
I bear on my shoulders?
The expectation that I will
Blaze a new path
While all the while still
Making everyone proudYour path of light
Shines straight before me
The steps you took
To become who you are
My road map
Take a right here
Now a left
Don’t go down that path 
If you do bad things will happen
You're a shining star guiding me
But I don’t want a guide
I want an unexplored adventure
To discover on my own
Do you know what I would give
For a shining star?
The unexplored adventure
You rave about
Is nothing but
Walking the narrow ledge
Between dreams and disappointment
A stumble left, 
you lose the ones you love
A wobble right, 
you lose yourself
You say I am not your parent
I don’t want a kid, anyhow
I’m just trying to help you
Walk the line
I appreciate the sentiment
But what's right for you
Is not always right for me
Where your light faltered
Mine may brighten
Your advice is a crutch
Supporting me when I am broken
But a crutch with no injury
Is a burden I must carry
New is on the horizon
You introduce me to concepts 
Earlier than most
I feel like the momma among my peers
Knowing more about life
Understanding complex situations
I lack naivety
For that I thank you
Sometimes though it feels
Innocence was ripped from my grasp
Leaving me a grown up
In a child's world 
Still, to you, I am a child
So oftentimes, 
You leave me behind
You must stay at home
It is not your time
To fly the nest
The world is not safe
Especially for one
your shade of innocence
who thinks they know
everything there is to know
And sometimes, I admit
The urge overwhelms me
To scream and curse
Fling mud at everyone’s faces
When the world grabs my mind
And puts it through the wringer
I put my head in my hands
yank at the roots of my hair
Just to ease the need
To smash everything in sight
I don’t want you to see me
Like that    
 Why not?
I already observe you 
More than you know
Through binoculars I search
Staring with fresh eyes
Into your life
Watching and waiting 
For what lies ahead
Crying with you when things get tough
Prepared to fight those who have hurt you
Smiling when you defeat 
The predators who hunt you   
Learning the hurdles
Set along the way
The mountains that need climbing
 Upstream swims that act as a test
My love for you
Is stronger than all that
Let me in and together we will triumph
You want your own life
I understand
Just allow me
To lend a helping hand
You do it for me
Allow myself to return the favor
It’s hard to accept that 
I ever need help at all
I was supposed to be perfect
I have it all
Our parents’ love and support
The education to see it through
I should’ve been perfect
So I could show you the way
But I’ve gotten lost
One too many times
Instead I walked circles
Around failure
Learn from me
To not waste the time
Searching for the diamond
Sometimes,
Just good
Is enough
 That advice I hold
Treasured within my heart
No matter how I complain
It's just a part of life
We have had our fair share of scuffles
Many more to come
Not a one changes my feelings toward you
Laughter we share too
Inside jokes will never get old
Forever we bond over many things alike
Learning from each other
Our journey continues
It won’t be easy
I grab for your hand
To hold me steady
Youngest or oldest
It means not a thing
Together we are strong
*Yawns*
Brushing the hair from your forehead

I want to tease you again about that boy you like
But I don’t think you’d notice
With your eyelids half closed
And you’re beginning to murmur nonsense
About shooting stars and monsters
 I will always hear your voice
Even in my sleep
My precious older sibling
Means a lot to me
A tender kiss you land on my cheek
A drowsy loving smile mirrored on your lips
A baby, cuddled in your blankets
No matter how old you are and will be
You, my shining star 
Forever by my side
I’ll miss you when I leave the world far behind
I’ll miss you when cities stand between us
But we’ll always be connected      Our love stronger than anything out there     I love you
Goodnight
But never
Goodbye

*********
This poem was written by amaryllis and Whitney. Amaryllis wrote the oldest sibling perspective on the left. And Whitney wrote the youngest sibling perspective on the right.

Whitney

VT

17 years old

More by Whitney

  • Awaiting An Invitation

    Tree limbs dance in
    the breeze of baited breath,
    roots threaten to break ground zero.
    time;
    too much
    too little
    only the trees understand 
    me

    glass stregthens
    mirrors melt
    clouds converge and darkness reigns
  • By Whitney

    Sentenced

    I am guilty

    The bars which restrain me
    are but my own fault

    I am guilty

    The lifeless walls
    frozen, unfeeling
    yield no give as I fight to break free

    My crimes:
    To want,
    the stars 
  • By Whitney

    Only A Memory

    The wind
    brushes my cheek, with a kiss. 
    Neck craned, my eyes
    skim the sky in bliss

    The scene before me,
    a canvas to interpret,
    I stare, deep within the soul of each star
    this game I refuse to forfeit.