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Prompt responses due Friday

14. Procrastination. If you had more time, you’d be able to put it off longer. What do you put off to the last moment? Why? Tell a story about how you just barely got something done in time – or didn’t.
Alternate: Splat! Use that word in a story or a poem.

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Breaking

imagine's picture
Submitted by imagine on August 8, 2008 - 18:26.

I have never felt so
emotionless

as when her tears
pushed their fat bodies
out of her red-streaked
eyes, creeping down
her face, creating
a puddle of
transparency-beauty
on her lap,

and all I could do
was sit there,

staring,

wondering why I've become
so hard.

NonSequitur's picture

This is SO beautiful.

Submitted by NonSequitur on August 8, 2008 - 20:59.

This is SO beautiful.

_____________________________
"You poor, simple fools...thinking you could defeat me, ME, the Mistress of All Evil!"

Usually I wouldn't like

Submitted by laughinglilac on August 12, 2008 - 17:13.

Usually I wouldn't like stuff like this because it's sad and a lot of the time I don't really like sad, dark things, but I like this one! It's pretty writing, and it's visual, and it interests me because it feels like it's part of a bigger story. I wonder why he has become so hard, and why she's crying, and if he is the one that is making her cry. Aaah, what a mystery. very nice.

imagine's picture

Thank you. Interesting how

Submitted by imagine on August 12, 2008 - 18:36.

Thank you.
Interesting how you interpreted the narator as he. Technically, it's she, but I'm finding how little that really matters...

Poet_Jessica's picture

this is how i feel a lot. i

Submitted by Poet_Jessica on August 12, 2008 - 20:18.

this is how i feel a lot. i definitely got the impression this was a he too, but i just re-read it knowing it's a she and i got new meaning out of it. this is very good. it depicts precisely the emotion [or lack of emotion].
_________________________________
Last night in my bed, I stared up at the stars in the sky and thought, "WHERE THE HELL IS THE CEILING?!"

hahaa i love that quote...

I really wanna know why the narrators not helping!

Submitted by BlondBlondiie on August 13, 2008 - 06:15.

I read some of the comments went back and read it as a she (as jessica did =) ) and it seems to me to maybe be an immediate relation to the one thats crying because it says " wondering why i've become so hard" maybe means that they inflicted this pain watching a sibling go through something or a friend, because im infering they've never done this before and they've always helped when the persons in need but now for some reason theyre motionless. makes me reallly want to know what its about ,and why they aren't helping and just sitting there!!!!!-well written,captivates a lot of mystery..

"happiness shines in a cirle of ponies"..words to live by!

WannabePunk's picture

Nice. Nice and minimal, but

Submitted by WannabePunk on August 27, 2008 - 21:00.

Nice. Nice and minimal, but it gets the point across.
I've totally felt like that before...not to that extent though.
------------------
State of the union address
reads "War Torn Country Still a Mess"
The words: power, death and distorted truth
are read between the lines of the red, white and blue.

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