Tear Soaked

You called me,
asked me over the phone.
I could hear the tears
rattling the words in your throat.
It's like you choked on the weight.

"Hi.
I just wanted to say I miss you.
We haven't talked in awhile."

There's silence.

"Did you forget me?"

I didn't know how to respond.
I didn't forget you.
You've just changed.
Warped yourself
into something you promised
to never be.
Told me that you'd stay sunshiney
and warm,
but I look at you,
and I see nothing but shadows
and thick smoke.

There's a reeking stench
in that shapeless form of yours,
and I can't help but gag on that horrible cloud.

I'm not saying I'm right
by turning my back,
but I'm not here
to play the hero.

Did you forget yourself?