Unpolished
Unpolished
No, it’s not to be worn ‘round your neck, bragging about the amount of money spent for its extravagance. Juuuuu-Lee, an unpolished stone. What kind of stone is a stone that refuses to be polished? Supposedly dashing the rainbows out of the clouds, throwing light amongst the walls, such a beauty, some would say.
When you drag the syllables along for a rather fretful, unruly ride, it leaves a trail, a buildup of saliva under the tongue, as if the mouth were a weapon. Tender lips lift, to imitate a nonexistent smile, or an upside down frown. What ever happened to letting the voice float off into the wind while trying to call my attention from my imagination? Surely the cry of a crow interrupts the distraction, but in a result of much cringing and a deep profound sigh.
From France, to here in the Les États Unis, its origin is of the speaking dead. I do believe my mother ran her finger through a list of English names, knowing no more than that some were feminine, some were masculine. My father, who had acquired much knowledge about the English language over an extended period of time, was there to either shake his head, or jump up and down eagerly with a sickly, wailing baby girl in his arms.
Of course, to tell one the truth, that is only my English name. This secret I’ve harbored jealously, lies deep in a solemnly cave. It only emerges with the hurried, high pitched sounds of a familiar language, like an attentive mother bear to her mischievous little cub.
Why if only time were a cassette that is easily rewound and recorded over, the calling of my name, would be like the low tide at the full moon’s rise. Saying ‘Julie’, lips are puckered, would you like a kiss? The middle “Ooo”, is it some sort of fascination that you’ve realized?
Alice! Alice! Alice of Wonderland, if I trade you my name, would you give me your wonderland?
Unpolished: Response
Julie, your entry encourages a good deal of in-depth thinking. I especially enjoy the second paragraph and the detail that you used to describe the pronunciation of your name. "The fretful, unruly ride" that leaves a trail of saliva in its wake certainly provides good imagery. The concept of a mouth as a weapon struck me as interesting, because words can "hurt." I received the impression that even if the sound of "Julie" doesn't hurt, the sound is certainly supposed to be "unpolished." I was also intrigued by your portrayal of the smile (usually carrying a positive connotation) with an upside down frown (making the smile seem fake, as if it is a frown in disguise). Apparently you are noticing the sound of your name more than before, when it floated off into the wind.
Overall, I enjoy the concepts of your story; I will only suggest that you tie the concepts together a little more fluently. In the first paragraph, it took me a second to equate a stone with a name. Also, at the end of the story, I can see why you would want to trade away your name, but how does Alice's wonderland fit in? The prevalence of commas in your piece may also make the purpose of each sentence a little ambiguous. Nevertheless, your concepts remain intriguing. You were definitely able to make the story of your name interesting, even if it was because your name seems "unpolished" that your story originated.