Dear whoever this is to,
I just want you to know that things have been changing between us. It scary to know that i’ve known you my entire life and out of all of it I have never felt further from you. I don’t even know if you mean for it but it feels like you’re pushing me away. It feels like you don’t really care about our friendship. I shouldn’t have to be the one that reaches out to you all the time. You should take some responsibility for this friendship. I’m tired of holding on to it when it would be easier on me to let go. These past few months things have been difficult and you haven’t been there. I know this sounds crazy seeing on how much time we spend together in school but you aren’t there mentally. I know life is hard for you and you are going through a lot but i’ve been there and i’ve told you over and over that I would be there but I can’t be there when you won’t tell me where you are.
Tell me if it’s something I did. Did I push to hard? Are you getting annoyed with me? Have I become to much for you to handle? Just tell me what I can do to fix it because this is tiring for me. I can’t keep blaming myself for feeling this way. It hurts. I just want things to go back to normal.
I also feel like you don’t care anymore about me. I once tried to tell you something, yes maybe it was small and dumb but you used to care and now you tell me it’s weird. What’s weird is that it’s the most natural thing and you made me feel bad for feeling it. And now you know about it and the look on your face was terrible. You looked ashamed of me. Like it wasn’t enough. You didn’t even care enough to talk to me about it. That hurt a lot because I thought you cared.
I guess that’s it. All I’m trying to say is I miss our friendship but right now it’s hard to hold on when it feels so one sided. If you ever found out this was for you you’d kill me but I just had to get it out. Please understand I don’t hate you I hate what has happened. I want the past back but I know we can never go back.