i decided to do this
way back in december.
i guess when the future is far away enough,
you think you can do anything. 
now it's the day after tomorrow
and doing anything seems like a bit of a stretch. 
i travel well. 
i want to see the world,
and i want to choose a new corner of it to settle down in
eventually. 
but the future is always ahead of me. 
in the future, 
i am a badass, somewhat morbid, wise-beyond-her-years young woman
who can handle anything
because she's changed from now. 
the day after tomorrow, 
i am underslept, sweating, 
anxious, 
and unsocial. 
the day after tomorrow, 
i go flying off into only the semi-known
ideally to get to know it better
but it's frightening, 
to fly away alone--
or without anyone you know--
when you're staring it down
instead of admiring it from months away. 
i'm told i chose this because i have faith in myself. 
i wonder if said faith in myself might be a bit misplaced. 
whether i'm meant to be tied up in my head
and lost even in my own world
forever. 
not that it matters, 
because in two days, 
off i go. 
off into adventure 
or... something. 
an entire month in someone else's world
and you know what? 
i might actually
be able to handle it. 


so i'm going to be in england for all of july and i doubt i'll have time and internet connection to really post anything while i'm there, so this doubles as a warning and an explanation of why i haven't really been doing summer of stories. plus a little expression of denial-baked nerves.