Sep 04
Fiona Ella's picture

jack the overrated


So this was partially born out of a conversation my mother and I had about how ever ripoff serial killer in television is doing jack the ripper and partially off a writing prompt I found suggesting serial killers are connected via the dark web. I apologize if serial killer comedy crosses the line. This is a semi continuation of a tiny write I made a while back, which I will put at the bottom if I can unearth it. Didn’t start out to continue that, it just turned it that way. 

“So. For my next one, I was thinking of Jack the Ripper.”
”Jack the Ripper?”
”Classic, right?”
”So not classic. Dude, Jack the Ripper is so overdone. I mean, I was talking to Rob just last week, and he’s just done Jack the Ripper! And Tammy from Sheffield did it years ago, remember Tammy? She was so mainstream. You want to be as mainstream as Tammy?”
”What? No! I just thought... it’s overdone because it works, right?”
”Are you kidding me? It’s not overdone because it works, it’s overdone because every time someone does Jack the Ripper, they get caught.”
”The real Jack the Ripper wasn’t.”
”It’s not the eighteen hundreds! Ever heard of DNA testing? When’s the last time you neatly dismembered someone?”
”Well, I...i just thought...”
”Be obscure. Be clever. Find someone no ones heard of. Give them a real chase. Peruse the archives.”
”But the police don’t do that. They won’t get it. At least with Jack, they’ll see I’m paying dues and appreciate my devotion.”
”Mate! You can’t murder to the lowest common denominator! See where that gets you—another one of the masses. You want to be remembered, be clever. Or better yet, have your own ideas.”
”I know, I know...”
”Go to Europe! Lots of great underrated serial killers in Europe. You’re sure to find something. Or, hell, find a book.”
”...what kind of a book?”
”A nursery rhyme. No, you dolt, one with murders.”
long silence.
“What if...”
”Oh no.”
”What if I could do both?”
”Both what?”
”A nursery rhyme. With murders.”
...
”...what have you got in mind?”

After the Outing (movie idea)

Five months ago, DCI Crispin Hudson was shot dead by a cornered murderer in front of his sergeant’s eyes. Now his sergeant, Tucker Alden, and his fiancée Eppie Heath are trying to get their lives back together. Alden gets back to work to find out three things: he’s been assigned a watchdog to make sure he’s mentally all right, the fiery PC Emma Barker, his acting superior officer is a buffoon, and there’s a serial killer on the loose. After a few murders, Barker notes something strange: the murders seem to correspond almost exactly with Edward Gorey’s alphabet book “The Gashlycrumb Tinies, or: After the Outing.” Faced by the acting DCI’s incompetence, Alden and Barker team up to illicitly investigate. But what they discover is both bizarre and sinister--and the Gorey Alphabet Killer will almost certainly strike again.