Week 27; Embarrassment-Lash
By Erica Lash
Champlain Valley Union High School, Grade 11
A toilet, a “bathroom fixture consisting of a bowl, usually with a detachable, hinged seat and lid, and a device for flushing with water, used for defecation and urination,” is not a generally treacherous entity. However, on August 9th, 1994, a seemingly innocent toilet became a nightmarish enclosure. Anguish-filled screams shattered the fun-filled atmosphere of the Twin-Oaks wading pool. Hurriedly, lifeguards scanned the pool, looking for the tell-tale signs of trouble, but to no avail. Parents stepped in, counting heads, ensuring that their wards were not to blame for the disturbance. After several moments of tense silence, the din resumed once more. Children happily splashed and played when a desperate cry was heard again. This time, the search was expanded, the usual culprit of the pool having already been proven innocent. Intermittent wails aided the investigators in their search, leading the troop into the realms of the women’s locker rooms. A hushed silence fell as they struggled to determine the location of the distraught child. Finally, a hastily-covered smirk crossed their faces as they located the little girl, hopelessly entangled within her porcelain prison. Faced with this unorthodox predicament, the girl’s mother was quickly located. When strenuous tugging did nothing to dislodge the child, it became evident that professionals were required. Armed with several types of slippery products, the manager of the establishment entered the scene. Soap and oil were liberally applied to the perimeter of her confinement and a lever-type object was inserted. A loud squelch disrupted the heaving and huffing of the struggling rescuers as the little girl popped free. Surprised, the girl looked about her in awe, acknowledging her blessed release from her doom. To the audience’s surprise, yet another wail was uttered, as the little girl realized their presence, the embarrassment of her situation having finally registered within her little head.
Despite several weeks of carefully averted eye contact and avoidance of the pool, the little girl gradually got over her embarrassment. She proudly told her tale during late-night gossip-sessions with her closest friends and in her early teens, the story proved even more useful, winning her the chance to emcee the U.S. Snowboarding Open due to her fantastic reiteration of the event. Although the horror of the afternoon has not evaded her memory, the uniqueness of comedic situation has proved useful over and over again.