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Stolen Secrets

Calliope's picture
Submitted by Calliope on Wed, 04/15/2009 - 4:16pm

I listen
To the longing
Call of a lone bird
Its harrowing voice filled
With secrets snatched away by
The constant curling of the writhing wind.

I listen
To the wailing
Whistle of the browning
Trees their boughs bending
Forced to release their brittle and aged
Secrets to the howling of the maddened wind.

I listen
To the whispers
Of the swaying brown
Grass edged with green voicing
The rebirth of the season the circle
Spinning secrets stolen by the avenging wind.

I listen
To the deep
Song of the flowing
River reaching through the
Land laughing and weeping for
Its secrets claimed by the mighty wind.

I listen
To the cries
Of the souls as they
Travel across the land
Holding to them for comfort
Stolen secrets on the wings of the wind.

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This is great! (: I love how

Submitted by Erin on Wed, 04/15/2009 - 9:47pm.

This is great! (:
I love how you started each stanza with listening and ended with some kind of secret. I think it works really well. But in the first stanza, your "secret" line was second-to-last, instead of just last, but I'm not sure how to change it, or even if you should. I know that's not very helpful. :P Anyway, I enjoyed this a lot!

"Love so much to give and too few to share it with wastes you away." --Oceansize

Calliope's picture

Thanks! I actually hadn't

Submitted by Calliope on Thu, 04/16/2009 - 8:58am.

Thanks! I actually hadn't noticed that, I'm going to see if I can put "secret" in the last line without throwing things off.

I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.
Jorge Luis Borges

If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the immensity of the sea.
~Antoine de Saint Exupéry

Locke-Peter's picture

wow

Submitted by Locke-Peter on Thu, 04/16/2009 - 7:13am.

I like this poem. I like your beginnings and endings, kind of the same repeated line, I like the rhythm of the piece, how it sounds, and most of all I love how the piece looks on the page, the wavy sort of thing you have there.

I have no real suggestions at this time. sorry. this is really too excellent.

-Locke

Calliope's picture

Yeah, I like building shapes

Submitted by Calliope on Thu, 04/16/2009 - 9:03am.

Yeah, I like building shapes with words, mentally and visually. Thanks!

I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.
Jorge Luis Borges

If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the immensity of the sea.
~Antoine de Saint Exupéry