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Each day we have new writing -- and new selections on the front page. An important part of this project is to give each other positive, constructive feedback. So add your comments to the writing. Read as a writer. Help out your fellow young writer!

Golden Buddah

Submitted by Marcia Woodruff on October 4, 2007 - 10:25.

You are like the sun, golden and bright
you are like the mountains, many different grooves
your voice is humming a calming meditation
your spirit is flowing in the wind like tumble weed blowing in the desert
you are the sweet smell of incense rising in the air
you are so peacefull, soothed and relaxed
your arms bent and fingers up
you are a true leader

slunden's picture

UVM Mentor Comment

Submitted by slunden on May 7, 2008 - 14:56.

Hey Taryn,

This past winter, I wrote a big paper about the Buddha, so I was really excited to find your poem! I really like how your incorporate sight, smell, and sound into the poem, so that the image of the Buddha really comes to surround the reader. This "Golden Buddha," which I'm assuming is a statue, comes alive in the poem through your description - I like the tumble-weed image best.

If I were you, I'd try to connect the last line of the poem with the rest - while those of us who have studied the Buddha might understand why the qualities you've listed make him a "true leader," others might have a harder time making the connection. What is it about his presence that inspires respect and loyalty?

Great poem - keep writing!
Suzanne

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