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The Road Home
I hadn't been walking long
down the dusty gravel road.
The streets were lined with vendors
selling everything
from pottery to exotic vegetables.
People bustled about
chatting, gossiping, and haggling
with the merchants.
I didn't have much time
to stop and look at anything.
My parents would be expecting me soon.
I promised myself I would resist
the tugging temptation
urging me to stop walking
and look a while at the fabulous goods
that the people had to offer.
"Just one stop couldn't hurt"
I told myself.
I gave in to the pull
and veered off my path.
I was standing
in front of a makeshift tent
selling sashes and robes
and scarves so long that they brushed the ground.
I was in the heart
of a beast full of color
and beautiful patterns spun in silk.
I gingerly stretched out my arm
and my fingers grazed
a delicate shawl
that was like velvet to the touch.
I stepped in closer
and was mesmerized by the beauty.
It was a carefully detailed pattern
woven with only the most vivid yellow
and deep red
along with a blue the color of the sky
on a summers day.
The blue was my favorite.
It was was woven in thick stripes down the sides
and it was the most brilliant color blue
I'd ever seen.
It caught the sunlight
and shimmered like the sunbeams on the ocean.
Just then I realized
how long I had been standing there
tightly clinging to the slippery fabric.
I pulled away reluctantly
wanting to stand there forever
letting the fabric slip from my hands.
I turned away from the tent
and started to walk along the road once again,
but this time
much slower.
Never once did I turn around,
however,
and in time
I forgot about the magnificent blue scarf
all together.
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Hi, I think this is a great
Hi,
I think this is a great poem, very vibrant and intriguing. You chose some great vocabulary that really makes it stand out, such as "sunbeams", "mesmerizing" and "gingerly".
One suggestion I have is to play around with the form of your poem. Think about how you could make the structure of the lines match what you're trying to convey. For example, how could you draw out the lines where you talk about the temptation tugging you to the merchants. Making that one long line might make it stand out more to the reader. Maybe just play around with how you separate ideas and see how it changes the way those ideas are viewed.
Great job, keep writing!
K