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Waiting
I am waiting. My shift has been over for hours. I watch the glass windows. I see many people but not the right one. I don't know who I'm waiting for, but I will when I see them.
The sun goes down and the people walking by turn to shadows. The coffee that smelled warm and fresh in the morning is now burned and smells like rotting wood. It is getting cold. Still no one. The lights go off all over town and I am left in darkness. The moment I have been waiting for arrives. A man in a dark coat enters the diner and my faces lights up. He is the one.
waiting
I like your story and how you use description words that make you picture things like "The sun goes down and the people walking by turn to shadows." I would like to know more information. Why are you waiting, who exactly are you waiting for? I think you have a good start but should develop this into a bigger story.
A University of Vermont College Mentor
Interesting Concept!
I found your piece very intriguing. It drew me in a captivating sort of way. There are strong images conveyed, as well as the feelings that are conveyed through your words. One thing I would suggest for the future would be to develop some of the imagery or emotions further for a more cohesive piece. Overall, and job well done!
A University of Vermont College Mentor