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Game Over

Greenpolkadots77's picture
Submitted by Greenpolkadots77 on Wed, 03/03/2010 - 6:59pm

I hear the running of feet and the loud exclamations of teammates. Wind blows past me stirring my hair into my face. I feel hidden no one notices me as I write this. No comments, looks or remarks as I write. Each team shouts at the opponent's plays and actions. The ball sails above the people and everyone watches. It continues to fly throught the air until it has flown over the roofs of the building. The ball disappears. Game over.

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McWriter's picture

I liked this- short and

Submitted by McWriter on Wed, 03/03/2010 - 7:05pm.

I liked this- short and sweet.
Just some little things to look at. There are a few little spelling or grammar mistakes that kind of tripped me up. There should be a space in noticesme and there shouldn't be a 'u' in hidden.
Other than that, great work!
:D

Ta.

Greenpolkadots77's picture

Thank you!

Submitted by Greenpolkadots77 on Wed, 03/03/2010 - 8:53pm.

Thank you for the feedback, i am always open to suggestions. Thanks!