Broken Time

First: Never, ever apologize for your work, especially before the reader even has time to read it. Having said this, I know how you feel when you say you think you've written a terrible poem and you want to apologize for it--I certainly have. Some of what I originally thought was my worst writing has actually gotten some very positive responses, often because I'm trying new styles or ideas that I don't quite feel comfortable with--I think that may be the case here.

Your poem is actually quite good, with a powerful meaning and good imagery to convey it. As to how it flows, if you mean you don't think it flows smoothly than I think that's good. You're talking about broken time, and the best poets don't just use words to describe what they're talking about, but also the structure of their poem. I might even break up the lines more to accentuate the unsteady, jerkiness of "broken time". You can also use it to put emphasis on certain words or phrases: You could break up the second stanza If only we could stop time,/
pause/ moments/ that we wish/we had only had a few more/moments/ to decide. Play around with it, figure out what words you think are important to the meaning; I thought "moments" was important, and by putting it on its own line I tried to give the feeling of that separate, broken moment. There's so much you can do, and it can be very fun and rewarding!

I absolutely loved the third stanza Look at this broken/watch on this broken wrist,/the hands stopped moving when you seem to be talking about the hands of the clock that can't move because they're broken, and also the hand that can't move because of the broken wrist.

My last critique would be that in the fifth stanza you use "broken" a little too much. I understand that you want everything to have a sense of being broken, but I think the connection would be more effective if you used some other words like "shattered" or "fragmented". Check a thesaurus--I'm sure you'll come up with some wonderful words.

Okay, hopefully I've thrown some half-way decent ideas at you, none of which you have to use but will hopefully give you some ideas. You've hit on a great idea and have already gotten it down very well, and that's really the hardest part.

Best of luck!

Cheers~
Muse