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Usagi's CCYWC slam
This discrepancy, disparity, duality of two-worlds-in-one-head of a reality, of a word that by my definition has no definition anymore, has no meaning nor significance to my day-by-day existentialist existence that for a lack of a better word I call my life. I admit sometimes I am inclined to lie back in my chair and stare at the sky and ask, “What does it all mean?” It’s just a thing I do. I don’t expect a solution, resolution, absolute absolution; I’m not that dense. I prefer to quip a snarky “Forty-two” and that’s the best answer I’ve found as of yet: Nonsense.
According to anyone with a god to sell, I’ve got a one-way no-stop train ticket to hell. To tell the truth, I don’t think even the devil would take my soul. The problem is, I don’t believe in anything I cannot see and that, well, that pissed people off. The Tooth Fairy takes all her money back. Santa Claus leaves only coal. I’m on the Easter Bunny’s permanent black list. People scoff when I bike past church on Sundays and go to the library instead. I am the first to admit the world is not as it seems, but I prefer to live in my own head, not somebody else’s dreams, not the words I read on a billboard somewhere. Godsdammit, I will covet my neighbor’s ass, she is an attractive lady.
Hey, I’m serious. You can laugh and you can be offended, you can rationalize this is not what I intended to say, but at the end of the day this is my reality, this is how the world appears to be to me, and with every word it just grows sillier, grows all the more absurd. This world is slowly going insane. Is it any wonder that I retreat into my own brain, where it’s dark and warm and at least the pain is familiar?
I lie awake at night, you know, and stare into the dark of the ceiling, trying to find patterns, trying to catch a feeling for the shape of the future; gasping, reeling! under the weight of the unknown. Sometimes I wish I did believe in a god; I wish I had the comfort of religion, because I’m not that brave on my own; but nobody can tell me enough about it to convince me god is any more real than the stories we tell children to make them behave. I’d like to believe I’m part of something bigger than just me, but frankly—I doubt it.
And I’m scared.
I’m scared because I care for people, homo sapiens, these brains and skeletons and lives we share. Whatever reality you may choose to see, whatever god you embrace—we are all part of the ‘human’ race—and we are destroying ourselves! over power and religion and land and—empty space—and I have no choice but to go along for the ride. I’m scared because us humans as a species are committing suicide, because there’s nowhere to hide except inside my own mind, and I’m afraid I won’t ever come out again and then I’ll go mad; I’m scared you’ll find me wandering the streets muttering to myself about the things we shoulda had, the things we shoulda known, I’m scared that at the end of this all I’ll be the only one left, I’ll wander alone; the only one whole 'cause even the devil won’t take my soul.
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Usagi~
This is incredible. I'm awed.
The ending is spectacular. I don't really have anything else to say. This is amazing. I especially love the voice when you say
"I'm not that dense."
This is fantastic.
Ta.
Hard to believe...
...that this has yielded only one comment. Given the quality of the writing and delivery, I wonder if it's rendered some of you speechless.
My favorite line, "she is an attractive lady."
gg
The lack of responses...
may be due to the fact that many of us heard this at the conference. We expressed our profound amazement there after the slam, and personally, I would feel redundant in repeating my praises.
Also... what is there to critique? This is absolutely superb, and there is nothing about it that I would want changed.
That, of course, is just my opinion, but is my reason at least for not commenting.
Edit: Haha. Forty-two. Thank you for lending me that book.
Ͼirce
Excellent
This really needs more praise, as its simply excellent. (Of course, I didn't hear it before.) Anyways, I'd say the delivery starts off amazingly, though after the neighbor line it seems to fall a bit. But, the last line is spectacular: the feeling (and wit) contained in such a simple line succinctly expresses the meaning.
You're right, it does lose
You're right, it does lose momentum- but you should really see if you can hear it in person, somehow, sometime. She shattered the energy we'd all gathered, and I was worried it wouldn't come back, but then she picked it up and put it back together and it turned out even better than before... It was masterful.
-A
WOW
wow...this just leaves me speechless!! I apsolutly LOVE this poem. It is amazing, and really deep. This voices some of my own thoughts, and I couldn't have said them any better!
-Taf
Lack of responses! Pah!
Lack of responses! Pah! Humbug, fiddlesticks, and fasnoof I say!
I have all the time in the world today, and all shall hear my opinion!
At length!
This piece, lovely as all pieces that come from
miss Japanese rabbit here, is a true mastery of the slam form. But to be honest, the part I loved beat about this at the conference was the performance. You acted this amazingly well, especially the neighbor's ass line which had the audience in stitches. You were probably the only one in that whole score-creeping affair that deserved a ten out of ten.
Shoulda gone with the nose flute though. You could have bronzed that.
So, in summary and somehow approaching the subject matter here, I think you need to make this into a comic.
There's so much imagery here, and I know you've done something like that before and it was beautiful, I want to see how the words bend and twist with shapes and pictures to surround, I want to see this piece drawn on a giant canvas mural with devils and words tied in knots because this is the essence of ART you have here, and there's no reason that art can't step off the page, pull itself up because you've gone beyond my ears and mind, I want to see what YOU were thinking.
Maybe not a comic. Not even a story, just pictures wrapped in letters and words.
I'm rambling. I'm bored. I miss nonnie. But something inside me says that I've had a good idea, it's just not helping me express it in a way that doesn't make me sound crazy.
-Locke
Hey, fellow rambler.
I did go with the nose flute! I'm not having much success playing it, though, and perhaps I shall have it cast in bronze. Or encased in aluminum foil. If only as an excuse for not being able to coax out more than a breezy squeak.
I really like your idea of putting this in visual form. The slam itself can't be repeated-- its success came from the energy of the conference and you guys, the audience-- but I'd have fun turning the poem into a surreal drawing. Patterns in the ceiling bleeding into blasphemy, Douglas Adams, little gods and fear...
we shall see.
...
You know, I could babble on about how amazing this piece is, tell you my favorite sentences and phrases, and compliment your writing skills...
But I'll just say this:
Awesome. :)
♦♦♦♦♦♦I'm proud of my
I'm proud of my babbling.
-Locke
I never said you shouldn't be
I never said you shouldn't be proud. XD
♦♦♦♦♦♦"Godsdammit, I will covet my
"Godsdammit, I will covet my neighbor’s ass, she is an attractive lady. " -- FAV LINE!!!!!! hahaha that's great, love it <3
this is amazing, you are so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Usagi-
It's taken me far too long to say this:
Stunning & wonderful & lovely.
It was fantastic hearing it.
Great job.
____________________
-Qwerty
i was laughing
I was laughing nearly the entire time, sometimes because it was funny but more often because of the irony and sarcasm and at the times when you came out and stated the bitter truth. I guess what I'm going for is taking this one word and trying to elaborate on it though, I think it's an explanation in itself. Genius.
"I you switch the letters 'i' and 'o' around in Olive, it reads i-love."
-The Twenty-Fifth Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee
XD
XD ahahahaha, I agree, olive!
♦♦♦♦♦♦