Gravity Plays Favourites

Slammed at CCYWC's rooftop open mic.

We are all breaking down typing our confessions because we cannot speak, we cannot make a sound–someone to talk to, please. Someone to wrench these words from my body, pull them from my throat, ease this pressure–someone to kill the guilt. Someone to tear down these walls I’ve built. Thebes was conquered early today, dragged through the school the halls on the way to a joke to a pun to a play on normality–on reality–I dip a bow–the starring role!–& turn to walk away–

(My confession is written & signed love, Bee & is tucked in my bookcase for no one to see cause you all know already too much about me & you all know the guilt hidden inexpertly

& I’m too afraid you would nod & agree–)

We are all breaking down with the weight of mistakes & I hate all the effort that sanity takes & the state of suspension of vertigo aches cause if I’m sure if I jumped I could fly–

WATCH ME TRY

& every condolence tastes like a lie I console I confide I confine

I’M FINE

cage myself up & close my dry eyes, afraid of the future the future unknown afraid of what I can’t control, afraid I’ll wake up some morning alone & I won’t know my old part, my role—

please someone listen & let me confess let me kill this obsession compulsive destruction—release this emotion this failed reconstruction of life after guilt after bitch after—

me—

let me let go, relax, relate, rewind,

return, & do it right this time

& find

not madness, just desire to—communicate! without losing my mind—

Too late.

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