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This Room
erase these sounds
chopping potatoes downstairs
a plea for salad, asparagus
defrosting on the counter
hard drive humming, blinking
the windowshade bulges
weight of a sneering sun
through leaves, brilliant
emerald shadows,
veins
rustling
the thin wave of my breath
and that song, always
that song playing in my head.
this morning I turned myself into bubbles
filled my body in with graphite, left
smudges where I sat
chose
A B C D or E
300 times over
watched the clouds retreat
the cars roll by
the sun climb, fall, fade
I count constellations
place my answer sheet inside
my test booklet
check the make of my
calculator
sharpen my pencils again
somebody drops an eraser
that fucking song.
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I must say this is nothing
I must say this is nothing short of brilliance--having also survived the standardized testing process this morning, I can fully sympathize with you. (There should be an SAT recovery forum on here.) I'm afraid I'm a little too burned to provide any good critique, but I can point out a couple of things I loved.
First, the fact that you said "sneering sun"--the number of times I've seen "smiling sun" would require a logarithm to write, and I'd rather not deal with any more of those at the moment. :)
I loved the wording and choice of line break in through leaves, brilliant/emerald shadows,, and, perhaps most of all, I thoroughly enjoyed this morning I turned myself into bubbles/filled my body in with graphite, left/smudges where I sat.
And lastly, I congratulate you on simply writing this. I made an attempt earlier today to put on paper all the frustration, exasperation, exhaustion, and, odd as this may seem, elation I felt taking the SATs, but failed. Nice job.
Cheers~
Muse
If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the immensity of the sea.
~Antoine de Saint Exupéry
Thankee.
Hehe, I second the SAT recovery forum idea. Those hours are draining. I didn't feel quite human after-- just a tight stiff bubble-filling robot, stumbling out into the world. Spent the afternoon doing nothing and feeling useless and finally just put that into a poem. I'm glad you liked it.
And I'm glad the test is over.
Edit: somebody-- the bubbles are the little circles on standardized tests you have to fill in. Interminably.
I like all the different ways
I like all the different ways you describe sounds in this poem... And I like thing about bubbles and graphite, even though I don't understand it... what does it mean? (feeling fascinated&inquisitive)