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Each day we have new writing -- and new selections on the front page. An important part of this project is to give each other positive, constructive feedback. So add your comments to the writing. Read as a writer. Help out your fellow young writer!

I'm Sorry

Submitted by Patti Magoon on November 16, 2007 - 14:14.

I'm Sorry

By Naomi Grayck
Main Street Middle School, Grade 7

Dear Dad, I'm sorry I couldn't be your little girl,
I'm sorry I took up your time,
I'm sorry you couldn't be there when everything unfurled,
I'm sorry I didn't walk in a straight line,

Dear Mom, I'm sorry I wasn't strong,
I'm sorry I looked away,
I'm sorry I didn't listen to your song,
I'm sorry I rebelled all the way,

Dear Sam, I'm sorry I lied,
I'm sorry I thought I could be better,
I'm sorry I didn't cry,
I'm sorry I never wrote you one letter,

Dear Adam, I'm sorry I never understood,
I'm sorry I never smiled at you,
I'm sorry I gave away our childhood,
I'm sorry I told you things that weren't true,

Dear Jacob, I'm sorry I went along with it,
I'm sorry I didn't help you through,
I'm sorry I just didn't get over it,
I'm sorry I never cared for you,

Dear Reader, I'm sorry I never hugged you,
I'm sorry I never told the truth,
I'm sorry I never got through,
I'm sorry I always wanted to be you,

I'm sorry you had to read this,
I'm sorry you won't remember,
I make my hand into a fist,
And crunch the burning ember,

For I can't change who I am,
I've tried once or twice,
I guess you will just have to understand,
I don't want to be right.

(To the committee: the author formatted this poem by centering all the lines.
I was unable to get this program to do that.) - Patti Magoon

njandl's picture

Brave

Submitted by njandl on November 16, 2007 - 16:20.

Wow, Naomi - this is quite the comprehensive apology, and you are brave to share such heartfelt, difficult content with your peers at YWP. I like your usage of "Dear" to address the various people here; the rhyme and four-line stanzas; and that literally searing final image of the "burning ember" that makes a "crunch" in your hand. It's a line that makes you wince, and that is saying something.

One simple improvement to this poem would be periods at the end of each stanza, at least until the "Dear Reader" section. That would help break up the poem a little bit more and help us concentrate on each person you address.

Great work.

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