I wasn't in school today. I had no exams. I was sleeping when it happened. I wasn't in school today and if I had maybe I would've been walking down that hall and heard the shot. or maybe I would've seen him loaded into the ambulance. he was in my brother's grade; maybe some twist of fate would've made them best friends. maybe he never would've, had to, caught up in some overwhelm of MUST and
We're all thinking in maybes. It's human. We can't stop. And we're all putting ourselves in his shoes and his head and that bloody bathroom and there's no way we can know. And is that the tragedy? That I never knew him? No. I didn't know him and he didn't know me. I didn't care about him because I didn't know him, and he didn't care about me. And I didn't stop him because I didn't know him because I didn't know anything because I'm finite and is that the tragedy? No.
Reflexively, we make this about ourselves. It's not.
But we're what's left.
How dare we.