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Waves

Olivianne's picture
Submitted by Olivianne on Mon, 07/18/2011 - 11:16am

 

     Despite all the extraneous distractions, the waves catch my attention. They are not quite as vehement as the waves I’ve seen in California or on Cape Cod, but they are captivating nonetheless. They stand out from the muddy sand and squealing children and even from the sun beating relentlessly on my back because of their hypnotic, rhythmic repetition.
     Although some waves are more powerful than others, crashing down with a here-I-am force, they are soon replaced by their gentler kin. These more subtle waves almost seem to not need or want the attention I am bestowing upon them. They seem to know their purpose and fulfill it with humble and dutiful dignity. The opposition between the peaceful and belligerent waves is intriguing, but not unexpected. The larger ones are almost overpowering, arriving with a bigger woosh than the others. But why would they need that power? Are they insecure control freaks, or simply commanding and dominant?
     Though they do have their differences, all of the waves are similar at the core. They start with a lucid quality, smooth and clear. But then, they break upon the sand, evaporating into white, foamy nothingness, sucked back into the lake from which they came.
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lovetowrite's picture

Welcome!

Submitted by lovetowrite on Mon, 07/18/2011 - 11:30am.

Yay first post!  And it's a good one, too!  I really like this piece--short, descriptive, and it seems to have a message, althought not an inherently obvious one.  I really like most of the vocabulary you used.  Some of the words really set the tone and mood for this contemplative, tranquil piece.  However there was one place where I got tripped up: "are they just insecure control freaks?".  This phrase seemed a bit too casual for the rest of the piece; it kind of felt out of character, in a sense.  So maybe take a second look at that line.  Besides that, this is great!  You have some wonderful images in this piece: "hypnotic, rhythmic repetition" and "evaporating into white, foamy nothingness, scuked back into the lake from which they came." to highlight a few.  The last line in particular really concludes the piece well, which is hard to do.  Nice work!  I look forward to reading more from you.