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Daughter
When he found his daughter sleeping
in her true love's arms, he took
his daggar and cut deep into their
hearts, because she should have
not been afraid to tell him of the
man, whose dead arms now she sleeps in.
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whoa.
Whoa.
That dad's got anger issues...I imagine he's gotta be high in status to be able to kill a man...haha just saying.
I like this. It's simple and well-written.
By the way, did he kill his daughter, too? because it says cut deep into their hearts, but then you ended by saying she sleeps in his dead arms, which makes me wonder if she wasn't killed? I was just wondering. Keep writing!
Summer--
Often times when you're dead, it's referred to as "sleeping", so that's how I wrote it: yes, the daughter is dead as well. Thank you for commenting.
Rogue
RogueArtist-
This is so short and simple, but unbelievably powerful. The phrasing was a bit choppy, but it still worked for the story you were trying to tell. Great job!
--
Let me take you down
because I'm going to
strawberry fields...
nothing is real.
This is so simple and yet
This is so simple and yet it conveys such a sharp image. It seems like there is a sort of Romeo and Juliet romance happening here....
This is great!
-Reina