let us take a moment & bow our heads

 "Let us take a moment and bow our heads," said the priest.
For the young ones, I thought, lost long ago.
For the old ones, I thought, forgotten like their years.
I bow my head for the soldiers, who give their lives.
I bow my head for the women, who must be brave.

& for everyone, I thought, who needs a second chance.

I take a lot of things for granted that I feel shouldn't be,
but I do it anyway & I just don't know why, fucking why.
I take these people for granted & when they aren't looking
I take these knives & I stab them. Ten, fifteen, twenty times.
They will never know why because they will not live
to see my reasons or my blind rage.

I do a lot of things I shouldn't and yet I still do them,
even when I know it's wrong & it will only get me a one-way ticket to hell.
But I don't care, what else do I have to lose? Nothing.
These opportunities come & I forget who I am & I take them,
like I took a locket from that girl last week
[...& I saw her crying later & I wanted to die.]

"Let us take a moment and bow our heads," said the priest.
For the struggling people, I thought, knowing not where to go.
For the insane, I thought, losing their senses.
I bow my head for the loved ones, who won't ever know hate.
I bow my head for try-hards, who don't know how much they mean to someone just being themselves.

& for everyone, I thought, who needs a second chance.
 

Now I ask you to bow your head for me, someone who
has just admitted all of their wrongdoings to anyone who
is listening for nothing, fucking nothing.