The Definitive Guide to Flight

 The only slam I performed last night, but I enjoyed doing it more than any poem I've done before, and I got some laughs for the first time as well, so all in all, I don't mind. :)

Welcome to the definitive guide to flying

Without the aid of an airplane, glider, wings

Or any other apparatus

Many believe that there is a way to mentally steel

One’s self for flight

But contrary to the whole wide world

Of Preparation for Flight books

I’m afraid there is no way to prepare yourself for flying

So let us dive right into the business

Of learning how to fly

Now, you may have heard from certain texts

That the knack to flying is

To throw yourself at the ground and miss

(See Life, the Universe, and Everything)

This is, of course, what will hopefully be your end result

However

This description does not come packaged

With steps on how to obtain the aforementioned goal

The instructions are as follows:

Go out into the woods

And find a secluded cliff

One as high up as you can possibly find

It is quite important that you must be completely alone

Climb to the top of the cliff

Looking down is optional

I would, however, advise against it

If you look first

Your resolve may waver

Please take into consideration

The possibility of a running jump

Taking a few deep breaths might also be prudent

After you have calmed your nerves

To a point where you may proceed

Please jump off of the cliff

You will fall

And you will hit the ground

And you will break

You will shatter into a thousand tiny pieces

Fragments grouped in the shape of your body where it landed

An outline like chalk around a body on the pavement

I won’t lie to you

It’s going to hurt

More than any pain you’ve ever experienced

And you’re going to stay broken

For a long time

But after a while

You will be fixed

Maybe someone will come across

The pile of shattered stained glass that is you

And they’ll piece you back together

Or maybe

(Through some miracle that to this day

Scientists still can’t explain)

You will piece yourself back together

But you will be fixed

You will be stuff and bruised for some time

But whole

The next step is crucial

Without performing this vital step

You will never fly

You have to get back to the top of that cliff

And you need to leap off of it once more

You’re going to fall again

And you’re going to break again

But this time you’ll fall much more slowly

And you won’t break into quite so many pieces

After you’ve been glued this second time

You must try again

You may try a different cliff

If it makes you feel more comfortable

This time when you leap

You may feel an overwhelming sense of well being

In place of the complete and utter dread

You may have experienced during your previous attempts

Because this time when you jump

You’re going to hover in the air

And then

You’re going to fly

Please attempt to stay stationary for a few moments

Then feel free to attempt movement during flight

It will still be awkward

The first few times you succeed

But it will get better with time

Congratulations

You’ve just learned the craft of flight.

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