The Aftermath

for this is what i do best: stand my ground until we both refuse to give and miles dirty my hands. isolate myself in secret and fall deeper into the shades of grey. take away my own options until there's nowhere to go but down. create crawlspace,closetspace,headspace that anyone can leave but no one can enter. imagine the grotesque colors that would become me if I ever tuned out long enough to go through with it. watch ships with plaid sails weave between the clouds, covering the watercolor sun, and wonder how much more it'll take to sink them. wait for violence that isn't coming. [{relearn how to not rely on dreams.}]

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