squiggles and lines

I love you. This is really good Lones. You rhymed nicely without making it seem forced. And it came from your heart, you wouldn't need to know what was going on to understand that.

Hey Daley,

There's a lot going on here! I agree with prattl, your rhyming is as natural sounding as rhyme can be...I've struggled with this in my own poetry, and I admire your talent. I also really like your quotation of those phrases that we do hear every day, especially while going through a break-up. The quotes really distance these words, which can seem so meaningless in their overuse, from your own thoughts, which come across in the poem as intentionally confused. When asserting your "fine-ness", you use question marks, which makes the reader question along with the "people" (and perhaps with you) whether or not you are actually fine. Normally I would fine this sort of flip-flopping frustrating in a poem, but it seems mostly to work here, as you seem to still be working these things out for yourself.
I really like the title and ending "Though my head is still filled with squiggles and lines." It really captures the confusion of the poem: in one way, the squiggles and lines represent chaos and nonsense, those feelings of befuddlement and loss that accompany a breakup; in another, "squiggles and lines" could be letters, composing all those empty phrases that you quote earlier in the poem.
Maybe I'm just making this all up, but you've definitely created here something complex and emotional - and interesting to read.

Thanks for submitting,
Suzanne