1. How it Goes

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In a way it all made sense. The way events worked out-- call it karma, call it fate-- it all just fit. In an odd, twisted way, maybe this end was actually and truly the best one.

No one was happy about it. No, no one at all actually liked the situation. But then, no one had really done anything to deserve a happy ending. This isn't a story about good deeds that get rewarded, or even about heroes that make ethical mistakes that they regret so much they don't have to suffer the consequences. No, this is a story about real life. That short, sharp-spirited thing we live in and the truth is simple: it's not forgiving. Every book with a suddenly perfect ending, every single one, ought to be classified as fantasy. Because in the real world, you have to clean up your own messes or break your back trying. In the real world, your problems are yours to deal with.

Now, while I tell you this story, I don't want you making assumptions. Don't assume that nobody dies. Don't assume that all the problems get resolved, or that all the weirdly foreshadowed mysteries ever get revealed. Don't assume that the main characters hook up, or that any of us are particularly pretty, or that any one of us comes out of this as a better person. Don't assume that everything magically gets... fixed.

See, ever since my life got this interesting, that's what I thought. I made all of those assumptions, all of those mistakes. And in a way, that's how things went wrong. I was always expecting to get... saved. The world has keepers, you know? I thought if there was a problem at all, someone in charge of that sort of thing would come and fix it. Well, no one does. You dig a hole, the earth doesn't just close it up again. And usually, you can't get out.

One more thing before I start actually telling you exactly why things are pretty damn awful right now. You know you always have a list of things you want to confess or say before you die, but not too long before that? Don't do it. Just don't wait. Because truthfully, you have no idea when you're about to die (and half the time, while you're dying you can't really talk). And then the only people you're trapped with are also about to die and your secrets will stay secret forever. 

Hear that? That's me, and all of us, being about to die. That's because we all did stupid, mean, stupid things and had no idea that--

Oh, hang on a second.

(What?

You serious?

How?

Sweet! Yeahhh!)

--Uhm, actually, never mind about sad endings. I guess... I'm gonna go now. Just, uhm, ignore this.

Bye!

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