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Repeating Words

EleanorRoosevelt's picture
Submitted by EleanorRoosevelt on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 9:23pm

Drop by drop they fall

Fall in puddles of dreams

Dreams that are forever lost

Lost in the ruins of life

Life that goes on without hope

Hope that fades every few minutes

Minutes that'll never come back

Back to the beginning where it started

Started with a few moments

Moments of happiness

Happiness that only exists in thoughts

Thoughts that don't have happy endings

Endings with death

Death is what I fear

Fear of disappearing

Disappearing into the dark

Dark times approach

Approach life and stay

Stay for many years

Years that come again

Again sitting with no idea where to go

Go to a place I wish I knew

Knew who I was and what I want

Want a better life than this

This life is like clouds

Clouds of water

Water as they drop... (begin at the top)

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Titania's picture

EleanorRoosevelt...

Submitted by Titania on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 10:02pm.

I love this poem! I have never seen a format exactly like this before--did you make it up, or did you see it somewhere else? In any case, it's really neat. I also like how the last line rhymes, intentionally or not. I might just title it "Repetition"--it's a little punchier, but it depends on what you like.

Great work!

 

~Titania

An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all. ~Oscar Wilde

EleanorRoosevelt's picture

I made it up, but I"m

Submitted by EleanorRoosevelt on Wed, 03/28/2012 - 10:15pm.

I made it up, but I"m guessing someone out there has used it, but I started to write it stopped and came up with. 

The last line wasn't supposed to rhyme, just a note to go in circles. I didn't actually notice that. 

 

But thanks

_________________________________________________________________________

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams"

doug.demaio's picture

I agree with Titania about

Submitted by doug.demaio on Thu, 03/29/2012 - 11:23am.

I agree with Titania about pretty much all of it, including the rhyming. This is a great piece. 

If you want to view paradise, simply look around, and you will. Anything you want to... do it. Want to change the world? There's nothing to it.

 

EleanorRoosevelt's picture

thanks

Submitted by EleanorRoosevelt on Mon, 04/02/2012 - 10:17am.

thanks

_________________________________________________________________________

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams"