The Wildest Excuse by Kevin

I swear, I was going to get there on time when all of a sudden I'm on my way to deliver the package when, ”zzzzzzzz”  a huge red laser from the sky is slices the ground behind behind me about 3 meters in diameter but a thousand feet high. I start running when “whoosh” a whole pack of pegasi whisk me away, gusts of wind hitting my face as if I was having a pillow fight. I see pegasi getting shot down one by one by turtles riding griffins. Did I mention they have lasers? “Pew, pew, pew.” Eventually my pegasus is shot down and I land in the ocean. Luckily I land on a narwhal which takes me to Atlantis where I fight the gator people and become king. After many years of my reign, I'm zapped by a wizard who sends me back through the time space continuum. I arrive only 10 minutes after I was supposed to deliver the package. So yeah, that's my story... I'm fired aren't I?