Sally Stewarts has something to say.
(A monologue from the perspective of my character in my theater troupe. She is twenty-two, rides a motorcycle, wears combat boots, has very Catholic parents, is very lonely and is afraid of heights.
Disclaimer: Any opinions expressed in this monologue are purely those of the fictional characters and do not represent the opinions of me™.)
Why is everybody so STUPID?
I know what you'll say— oh, honey, have faith in people. You're just frustrated; not everybody's as dumb as you think. Okay, fine. I don't care. Just explain ONE stupid thing to me— God. What the hell are you people thinking? There's a stupid GUY in the stupid clouds, watching you? I mean first of all, that sounds like a psycho stalker, and anyway he can't be watching everybody at once, but second of all PEOPLE CAN'T FLY. Come on, we've all tried. So, what, God's a bird? God's a friggin' bird that can make more than one opinion at once?
But what really pisses me off about this whole God thing is the excuse to think that someone's looking out for you. Like they've got your back. Like... like someone exists just to provide for you when you need them, or punish your enemies, or make you right. Okay, well, if God's real, he should do that! Right? Duh. So, why haven't we seen that? It's never happened, that's why. Duh. If people had any brains they'd have figured that out after, like, 2 seconds of religion. I don't know. Everybody's stupid. I don't care. And anyway, look at ME. If God was all-powerful, he'd have helped me a bit. That or he wouldn't have made me at all, but either way, I wouldn't have ended up like this. Look. I'm living proof that God doesn't exist. I don't care. I don't need God.
Stupidity, though, I can handle. Just ignore it or glare at it and it goes away. What I really can't stand is people judging each other, right off the bat. I mean, not that I care, but people see me and assume that I'm lesbian, or I have AIDS, or that I'm dangerous. Actually, all three of those MIGHT be true. Who cares? But I see the mothers edging their little flocks of toddlers away from me, as if you can catch lesbianism or AIDS from walking too close, or as if I've ever punched someone who doesn't deserve it. I'm not going to brainwash your kids. Of all the weird and TOTALLY untrue assumptions you can make— that I'm on drugs, that I'm alcoholic, that I hurt people for fun, that I'm a criminal, that I'm crazy, that I'm homeless— the one that gets to me most is that you think I can't keep my issues to myself. Because I can. I don't need anybody to care, and I know I look a little shady, but I'm not going to pass that shadiness on to anybody ELSE. Oh well. I don't care.
I'm lonely. Honestly, if somebody's going to walk by me and NOT judge me— well, that'll be the day. Hell, I'd probably go up and give them a hug— and I NEVER do that kind of thing. Ever. But I might. If someone wasn't scared away by my stupid threats and whatever. Only it's never going to happen because people are too STUPID. Screw them. Screw everybody. I don't care.
There was this time that my Ducati broke down on the highway and no one would stop to help me. Finally this police officer pulled over because he saw me waving. And you know what? He arrested me, right there, because he thought I'd stolen the bike. I mean, I know I don't look rich and it's a Multistrada 1100s, but still! It took me weeks just to get the damn thing back.
I don't care what people think. Life's just a progression of pretty colors and no one has time to second-guess their own isms. I've been sober two years now. Not that it really matters, anyway, because no one thinks I look sober. I bought that bike with my own money. I've got a job and I even go to it. I'm going to go back and finish high school. I'm making things better for myself, and I don't need anybody's help. Which is a good thing because nobody's helping me. And I don't care.