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New York City

pomegraniteprincess103's picture
Submitted by pomegraniteprin... on Sun, 04/22/2012 - 6:44pm

Busy streets

with endless lines,

of yellow cabs.

I watch,

with curious

eyes,

a world

so new to me.

The relfections of the past,

can be seen

in the glass windows

of the skyscrapers,

that

stretch into infinity

of the muggy,

polluted clouds.

Each window

has a story to tell

of what they have seen

in the city

that never sleeps.

 

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ReinaXC's picture

I love the line

Submitted by ReinaXC on Sun, 04/22/2012 - 8:10pm.

I love the line "Each window has a story to tell," that is really powerful and what I always think about when I go to New York. You capture the city very well!

-Reina

pomegraniteprincess103's picture

Thanks

Submitted by pomegraniteprin... on Sun, 04/22/2012 - 8:51pm.

Thankyou for the comment, I recently went to New York city and it really inspired me.

Poem feedback

Submitted by kcournoy on Sun, 04/22/2012 - 10:52pm.

I love this piece because it captures the magical essence of New York City perfectly. While it seems to be written with a sense of nostalgia it's beautifully written. This is the picture that we envision NYC if we haven't lived there before. I especially like your reference to "each window having a story to tell of what they have seen." Your curiosity about this amazing city is evident throughout the passage. I find your writing refreshing because I can tell that you are writing from personal experience and it emulates itself in your connection with the theme. Keep traveling and exploring and your writing will only continue to benefit from the creative influences of life!!

pomegraniteprincess103's picture

thank you so much! i

Submitted by pomegraniteprin... on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 8:36am.

thank you so much! i appreciate that you are taking the time to read and comment on our peices of writing. and you are not just saying "love it" you are actually commenting your feelings thoughts and tips, which is just amazing. thankyou!

This poem is really simple

Submitted by Imperial Affliction on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 4:10pm.

This poem is really simple and yet you made me feel like I had recently just been to NYC myself (which I have not). The only think I wonder about is the somewhat awkward commas throughout the poem (ex: "I watch with curious, eyes,"). I don't know if I'm missing anything or not, but it sound a little halting when the voices in my head read it aloud :) Great poem!

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Live for the nights you won't remember with friends you'll never forget. <3

pomegraniteprincess103's picture

Awkward Commas

Submitted by pomegraniteprin... on Mon, 04/23/2012 - 7:23pm.

Ooh thanks! Didn't realize it, but it does sound choppy. Though no worries I fixed it!