Discoloring

    I jumble through my bag searching for something. A photograph. My hand touchs everything but it: Chapstick, a pen, algebra book, history book, french folder. I stop to wipe my hand over the window. The windows have fogged up from humidity so its hard to see outside but you can tell its hailing. The bus goes through a bump and my bag dumps to the floor. I shuffle my position to the ground and shove everything back in. I look through it cautiously to find it. After what feels like forever I find it. Wet and muddy, I pick it up and wipe it on my jacket. Looking down at it I hear a loud crash and flash of lightning goes again as I fall over to the floor again. The photograph is almost impossible to make out with the water damage but I can see your face. Your cute smile, and sweet look. We sit, together. In class. Your looking up at the camera trying hard not to choke on laughs, but I had given up and was almost as red as a tomato. I miss that. You and I being able to laugh without you wondering who's looking. Since when does it matter that she's looking? I crumple it up and shove it in my pocket hoping to erase it from my mind. I sit there and thinking of everything other than you but I can't. You lied. You told me you hated her but your passing notes in history. I look over at you in class and your laughing and getting cuddly, close. You see her talking to another guy and next thing you know our conversation is your second priority. I used to beleive girls were only capable of obvious lies but you made me beleive other wise. A tear sheds from my eye. It hurts to see you leave likes this. Without you being able to be you. I gather myself back into the seat and put on my headphones to drown out the sounds.  I find comfort in you. Since you started to act like this I find it harder to curl up next to you like a lost, lonley dog.  Without thinking I dig into my pocket and pull out, what feels like, all I have left of you. I uncomple it and notice that the water has permeated through even more. I run my thumb over your face to remove some water. The color on you face has been drowned out by the water. I wonder if I ever made you loose your color. I wonder what I did to deserve loosing you. Your my best friend. I know I wanted something else but without telling you i settled for this. Did you pull out on me? You couldve just told me you wanted me to scram. No. I wouldn't have listened and you knew that. Did you really have to go to her though? I see now that I leave you discolored.

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