I am not a stalker, I promise.

Please take the time to open this link and play it as you read (Just click on the link and wait for it to load because the pictures in the video are sort of weird, but not like disgusting weird. However now your going to be tempted to) http://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play?p=sad%20music%20on%20piano&tnr=21&vid=5038886326698018&turl=http%3A%2F%2Fts3.mm.bing.net%2Fvideos%2Fthumbnail.aspx%3Fq%3D5038886326698018%26id%3D4399b9a81e4934dd800ae5a3c4e49213%26bid%3DBh%252bj7kTNNJ9qiA%26bn%3DThumb%26url%3Dhttp%253a%252f%252fwww.youtube.com%252fwatch%253fv%253da_Am4cHMBKM&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Da_Am4cHMBKM&sigr=11a2hi8sh&newfp=1&tit=Sad+piano+%28this+will+make+you+cry%29

I am being drown in my own fears and regrets. You promised to me that our friendship would last. I honestly wasn't sure how, but I chose to believe you. I sit alone at my desk feeling an odd spill of emotions pour on out of  me. I truly miss you and I am now wondering why on earth I never confessed my feelings. I wasn't committed. I was so single that people would pity me because of the crappy guys I was forced upon. However you weren't one of them. I am honestly to nervous to spring this on my friends, for fear of there reaction. That my feelings never left for the past two years and that as I write I can feel my heart aching in my chest. I was torn away from you by three girls just on the top of my head. Each of them jealous of what friendship we had. You said the sweetest things to me that left stains in my brain that permeated through to my heart. You were always the subject of my 'romantic' writing. Even though the made up story never excisted. I made them up purely for satisfaction. Now I can reply the real moments that were only friendship that can make a girl like me melt in her boots. I could spend days being lost in a room covered in pictures of you or just things to represent a memory. I am sure through tears of sadness, laughter would pour through. It's pathetic how much you have brought me under a secret spell. As if a witch had hexed me into being secretly obsessed. I am not a stalker I promise. I will try my hardest to overcome the thoughts that rummage through the truth. As much as my heart begs for me to try and speak. No words escape. It may just be me but every word that you said seriously meant everything each one changing how I thought next. Where my next role would lead me. Which card I would pick up, and if it would let me pass go. It never did again however. After it undutifully ended. I never knew I would be filled with a year and a half later of regret. So I guess if you ever somehow read this you would understand why I would never want to share this with you. It would ruin the best friendship I had. For some reason now it is missing, lost in a jumble of papers and people. I just don't understand how two people so close don't say a word for weeks on end. Maybe your not feeling the missing part, but I however am. But seriously I am not a stalker, or an obsessive creep, I promise.

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