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She Doesn't Realize
Does she realize what she is doing?
That what she continues to do might hurt her.
She only thinks about herself
And those skinny models in magazines.
Everyday she gets lighter
And people around her begin worry.
Does she care? I don't think so.
She doesn't care about anything
Only about her body.
She doesn't believe in inner beauty
She only believes in outer beauty.
The marks on her skins
The blood stained band aids,
That cover her arms.
She tires to hide it,
The fact she is becoming thinner,
The fact we all know how she got those scars.
The question we don't have it why?
Why is she doing it?
To prove to people she is pretty,
I've never seen her so ugly.
Still we tell her, but she doesn't listen.
She doesn't realize what she is doing
Could hurt her, if not worse, kill her.
All so she can be like those air brushed babes
On the cover of the magazines
That are so far fake they are plastic
She doesn't realize she has a beat heart
But a friend to many, including me
If she keeps this up
Friends begin to go
But she doesn't realize
She won't realize until she needs us
But when that day happens
Where will we be, but far from her.
So she must choose her fake appearance or friends.
Because (cliche allert) you don't realize what you have
Until it's gone.
Or until you are.
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I know exactly how you feel,
I know exactly how you feel, watching this and feeling that there's nothing you can do. It's so hard. Especially with someone you truly care for. You do a good job conveying the different emotions--but the final point is just that you want the other person to be safe and healthy. Good work. If i were to make one suggestion I would say, get rid of the last word. It's implied, and I think it would be more powerful to leave it at "are." it gives the reader a feeling of stopping short--like they are gasping as the poem ends.
If you want to view paradise, simply look around, and you will. Anything you want to... do it. Want to change the world? There's nothing to it.
I agree with Doug about
I agree with Doug about eliminating the last word and leaving it at, "Or until you are."
I also really like, "That are so far fake they are plastic/ She doesn't realize she isn't plastic." I think you could even play some more with that, if you'd like, and contrast that with the parts of her that make her alive and not plastic.
Great piece. My heart goes out to you and her, too, if this is nonfiction.
Thanks for the feed back
Thanks for the feed back fellow writers.
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