I Promise I'm Not.
She would love to be able to tell someone
that they are the only reason
she would ever choose not the leave.
(She doesn't have one.)
She wishes she had the opportunity
to look you in the eye and tell you
"I love you I love you I love you to pieces with every part of me."
(But that would make her weak.)
If she could go back in time she wouldn't change her own life
she would change yours and yours and yours
and protect you from ever feeling pain.
(But that would make you weaker than she ever was.)
She wants to look at perfect things and people and ideas
and not imagine how glorious the rush would be
to destroy everything about them.
("I promise I'm not a psychopath... yet," she whispers.)